My once upon a time...

We have moved.

2008-03-27T16:58:00.002-04:00

Bye, bye Blogger. Its been nice knowing you but we have found a new home.

All future posts will be found at:

http://onceuponamel.wordpress.com/

Hope to see you there!

Giving it to you straight.

2008-03-26T16:55:00.005-04:00

This is my blog, right? My place to talk about whatever I want no matter how mundane. This evening that topic is my hair - and this is no mundane matter to me!

I hate blow drying my hair. I have naturally curly hair. Really curly and cannot stand using the round brush for close to an hour to blow dry my hair straight. It never comes out right anyway. I am mediocre at blow drying anyway. I admit that it never comes out right especially not when its as long as it is now.

Neither, though, am I willing to spent $120 on a Chi Hair Straightener. As my husband says, "Do you know how many cartons of formula that could buy?"

I love SallyBeauty.com. They gave a generic version of the Chi on sale for $59.99 and they come in adorable colors. I chose pink.

And since I have been getting a ton of compliments today on my new look - allow me to share my camera phone pic of myself. Not the best picture - but you get the idea and it works in a pinch

CIAO, bellas! Sharing is caring and I am sharing the wealth. Can't keep this info all to myself now can I? That wouldn't be cool of me at all.

Sophia is 6 months old today...

2008-03-26T10:46:00.008-04:00

This is so emotional for me! She needs to slow down. This last 6 months went by so quickly that it makes my breath catch.

6 DAYS OLD

6 MONTHS OLD

A few things about Sophia now that she is 6 months:

She loves food. You can tell those she is not too sure about (peas, sweet potatoes with corn) but she eats them anyway!
She loves her Jumperoo. We see her "asking" to be put in it with body language and sounds she makes.
She has her first tooth. The bottom left.
She has plans. For the cats. And for the removable shower head. We can tell.
She is almost sitting on her own. She can keep her balance for a long period of time and catches herself before she falls - most of the time.
She is very vocal. She sings and yells. We call her baby Tarzan.
She loves to sneeze. It cracks her up.
...and she knows us. She loves her parents. We can tell. She loves her family and is recognizing her "people". Its awesome.

Its amazing to see that she has gone from this little person who could barely keep her eyes open to a little person who is grabbing things and holding on, learning to hold her own bottle, fliring and smiling.

I love being Sophia's mommy. It is an incredible gift.

Established March 25, 2006

2008-03-25T09:10:00.003-04:00

The hubby and I are celebrating two years married today. It feels like it went by so fast while at the same time if feels like it was so long ago. Marriage has done us a lot of good. We make a great team. My weaknesses are balanced by his strengths and his weaknesses are balanced by my strengths. Compromise, understanding, a sense of humor, generosity, selflessness. Those are the qualities that keep us strong together.

Its an every day thing - working on our marriage, focusing on us and making sure we stay strong as a couple so that we can be a strong unit as parents. I am so proud of all we have accomplished together so far. Its not easy all of the time - marriage is a lot of work - but you need a few hard moments now and again to make you appreciate all of the good that comes in a relationship. And to be honest those difficult moments are nothing compared to the good ones. So far. I am not so naive to think that we won't hit our big hurdles but I can hope and pray that the foundation we are building on can withstand anything that tries to topple us.

I love you, baby! Happy Anniversary!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Recipe for a Healthy Marriage

3 cups of Love

4 spoons of Hope

2 cups of Warmth

2 spoons of Tenderness

1 cup of Forgiveness

1 pint of Faith

1 cup of Friends

1 barrel of Laughter

Combine Love & Warmth, Mix thoroughly with Tenderness. Add Forgiveness and Blend with Friends & Hope. Sprinkle all remaining Tenderness. Stir in a generous amount of Faith and Laughter. Bake with Sunshine, Say God's blessings over it and serve daily in generous helpings.

Escape to Chimp Eden

2008-03-24T10:33:00.003-04:00

Fridays, on Animal Planet.

If you love animals and are at all even slightly touched when you hear of someone dedicating their lives to save and protect animals while at the same time showing you how loving and entertaining those animals can be - this show is for you.

Check it out. Here are a few reasons why!

And here is a sneak peak at the show:

Two years ago today...

2008-03-24T10:09:00.009-04:00

It was the day before my wedding and all of my favorite girls and I were prettying ourselves up and getting ready to get me married off! There is nothing like preparing for the most important day of your life (to date) while being surrounded by all of your closest friends.

From left to right, introducing my best beauties - Alison, Lizette, Elizabeth, Me (the Bride), Alisha, and Lisa. I love you girls!!!! I know life is busy for all of us and we are seperated by miles and those busy lifestyles and I get to see some of you more than others due to all of the above but I really do think of each of you daily and look forward to when I get to see each of you again.

MUAH TO YOU ALL!

Sophie's Jumperoo

2008-03-21T20:39:00.003-04:00

A very short video of Sophia in her latest today. River Dance has nothing on our Pookie!

Its not about the chocolate bunnies...

2008-03-21T17:13:00.002-04:00

...even though they taste great, please try to remember the real reason we all celebrate Easter.

Wishing a wonderful Easter weekend to all who observe.

HAPPY EASTER!

Sophia and the Jell-O Mold

2008-03-20T14:48:00.005-04:00

Jello-O makes everything a-okay.

It was the Spring Celebration at Sophia's daycare today and though she is a little too young to particpate in the Easter Egg Hunt (so she slept through the whole thing) she did get to experience the tactile pleasure of a cold jell-o mold in the shape of an Easter Egg. The look and feel mesmerized her, the coolness felt divine on her swollen and teething gums. Overall, the experience was a total success - as you can see from the above series of photos taken with my camera phone.

It takes a village.

2008-03-17T14:29:00.002-04:00

Most of the time in the hustle and bustle that is life it is very easy to overlook or take for granted what you have never been without. You cannot miss what you never had, right? Well on the flipside it is easy to take for granted something that you are really used to.

I have a wonderful family. There are not a lot of us but what we lose in quantity we make up for in quality. I have a small amount of cousins and aunts and uncles so we all are really close and see each other quite often (well, before a couple of traitors move far away). The point is - it takes me having my own child and seeing how much everyone else loves her for me to appreciate just how lucky I am to be in the family I am. The reminder of it all puts of warm and fuzzy feeling in my belly.

This weekend my sister came to visit. She is over the moon in love with Sophia and loved spending a few uninterrupted days with her where she only had to share her with me and my husband. This was the second weekend in a row that she got to do this and by the time she left yesterday I realized that there was now a new bond between aunt and niece. Its adorable to see Sophia's face light up when my sister walked into a room.

My grandmother spent the last few weeks knitting a gorgeous dress for Sophia. GORGEOUS. Almost an exact replica, except for color, that she made for me when I was a child. Sophia will not be able to wear it until she is about 18 months old and it hit me - she is only 5 months old and she already has a family heirloom because that dress is one of a kind, handmade by the only great grandmother Sophia will ever know.

My uncle/Godfather spent the weekend painting a 16x20 portrait of my baby. Can we say humbling? I have not even taken the time to sit down and put her photo albums together and my uncle spent a good chunk of his free time painting her. Its beautiful.

Add the three grandparents (my mom, dad, and mother-in-law) into the mix and what you have is a village of people who love this baby from the top of her had to the tips of her tiny toes. All of whom will add so much to her life and enrich each day, month, and year she spends with them.

I am going to have to make sure she really realizes all of this one day - because right now you can tell our little princess takes all of this love and attention as her rightful due. She is already an attention hog, social butterfly, and a flirt to boot - Lord help us in the years to come!

Photobucket's new features....

2008-03-14T11:02:00.002-04:00

...are simply irresistable! LOL.

Let me use this moment to recommend www.photobucket.com

First "School" Pictures

2008-03-13T15:17:00.004-04:00

Sophia was 4 months old when this photo was taken, almost 5 months.

The idea of my little baby having school pictures taken sent visions of finger paintings and macaroni art coursing through my brain and made me realize just how fast this is all going to go for me. I wish there was a little button I could press to slow down time. I am sure the same could be said for most parents, eh? I am sure my mom and dad freak out just a little when they realize that me, their oldest child, is turning 29 years old this year. I mean - if I remember when my parents were 29 I am sure they remember it, too!

Life moves way too quickly - so take this all as a reminder to enjoy each second and try not to let the small things get to you.

On the topic of "small" things - I hope you are enjoying Sophia Victoria's official "first" school photo.

Could it be?!

2008-03-12T14:27:00.005-04:00

We have been coaching Sophia on, "Dadadadadada" and "Mamamamama" since birth so that she knows who we are and so that she learns how to say it one day. In addition, I always ask her, "where is Dada?" Or I point to myself and I say, "Ma-MA."

This morning I was coaching and playing with her and singsonging different versions of "Da-Da" and I SWEAR the kid whispered, 'a-da' in response. A little one and just once and then mouthed it!!!! Thats all she did - but I totally felt like she was picking it up!

To be continued... Hopefully sometime within the next couple of months I will be able to report a full fledged Dada or Mama!

In the meantime, here is my happy, little Pookie at 5 months and 2 weeks old.

(taken with Tia's I-Phone - 3/8/08)

Political Sex Scandals

2008-03-11T13:50:00.005-04:00

Let me start with a lot of eye rolling. First of all, other than the fact that being a cheating spouse makes you a despicable human being - I don't really care. I am sure that the sex scandals we have been seeing in the news lately are only those who are dumb enough to get caught. I am not naive enough to believe that everyone from the President down to the man who sweeps the floors of the House of Representatives is faithful to their marriage vows. A sad fact, though. And if they are silly enough to remain in office I probably (probably) would not vote for them again.

What flabbergasts me about these situations is the WIVES WHO STAY. Not only do they stay at home, married to these men - but they stand next to those podiums as their husbands admit to the whole world that they betrayed them. I mean, really? Then its the voters, fellow politicians, and the media who appear more betrayed and scandalized than the wives of these men!

I tell you what - There is not enough money in the world for me to do that. He can stand up there by his damn self while I stay home packing my shit.

It makes me wonder if these wives really love their husbands and if they are in the marriage for more than connections, money, and whatever fame or reputation you get as a politician's wife? Is it in a pre-nuptial somewhere that if your husband publicly gets caught cheating that you must publicly stand by him or risk walking away from the marriage with nothing? Personally, I see that clause in a pre-nup and I am going think twice about the man I am marrying...but then again I think we have already established that I am nothing like those politician wives and the biggest reason is that I have not stood in their shoes - so all if this is very easy for me to say in confusion.

A part of me judges harshly any woman worth her salt who lets herself be used that way for political and financial gain (because I would be surprised if they were doing this to try and save their marriage - its just too public) and then another part of me has to admire the strength it must take to stand there and listen and smile. I think I would be a puddle on the floor.

I could go round and round on this topic forever. I could be very wrong. Are these women any different from the every day, average woman or man who catches their spouse cheating? I have to say yes - outwardly. Very different. The every day average husband or wife is thinking of their family, children, household, finances, future, etc. The politican's spouse has a lot more to consider and I cannot decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing - I mean, at what point after you lose your mind once you discover this betrayal do you agree to brush off the pain and stand by that podium?

That is the flabbergasting part.

Cats & Water

2008-03-10T15:17:00.004-04:00

...and they say cats and water don't mix well.

Let me give you a little background on Gypsy. I have had her since she was 8 weeks old. She was a gift from my parents when I moved out. Its been about 8 years now that we have been together - although I did add another cat to our little family a couple of years before I got married. She is spoiled rotten. When she was a kitten she would curl up next to my head on my pillow - in fact she still does that sometimes. She follows me around like a puppy and I even swear that she says "Mama" on occasion.

She has not reacted well to a new baby in the house. In fact, within 3 hours of Sophia being home and me not greeting her properly (my fault) Gypsy peed smack in the center of my bed. Thank GOODNESS we had left lining on the off chance my water broke in bed towards the end of my pregnancy or she would have been one dead kitty. She now tolerates the baby with a mild curiosity but is much more interested in making sure she gets her time with me, too - which is not that often as Sophia demands a lot of my time.

Now, on to the story...

I decided to indulge in a bubble bath yesterday while the baby was napping. I was dying for some alone time with my new book (see recommendation below) and the bath is my favorite place in which to indulge.

Gypsy usually likes to hang out on the very top of the of the shower doors while I bathe or shower. Its so funny but we are used to it. Yesterday she apparently got bored of being up there or decided that she was too far away and jumped onto the counter which covers one of the shower doors and proceeded to use her paw to OPEN the shower door and look down at me in the tub. I thought, "okay, this is new" and let her do her thing as I continued reading.

A few minutes later she jumps down onto the corner edge of the tub and lays down and practically has her head on my shoulder as if she was reading my book with me. I could barely concentrate on my book because I was so flabbergasted! She had never done that before. I can only think now that she wanted some alone time with me without the baby around as a distraction. But it was too funny and too cute. She left about 15 minutes later when she heard my husband coming - apparently its not alone time if he is there either.

Cats are interesting and strange creatures. Remember this the next time someone tries to tell you that they have no personalities - until you have lived with a cat, you cannot possibly appreciate what they bring to the mix.

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

2008-03-10T09:27:00.005-04:00

Read it and prepared to be sucked in.

No pun intended.

...I am not giving anything else away other than to say that this book is the first of four novels about Edward Cullen and Bella Swan who are starcrossed lovers to say the least - since Edward is a vampire and Bella isn't.

The movie comes out in December. Here are some teaser posters.

...and introducing the Cullen Clan (yes, all Vampires).

Harry Potter and Grey's Anatomy fans will recognize at least two of the pretty faces on this poster.

Disappointment

2008-03-03T14:03:00.005-05:00

Disappointment is having everything in place to move back to your hometown (the new job, house on the market, details all set up, etc... ) only to come to the hard-as-hell conclusion that due to the situation in the housing market right now that you just cannot do it.

The market has screwed us over bigtime on this one. It may be the time to buy for a lot of people - but its not the time to sell unless you are willing to take a BIG hit. And we aren't.

This realization came to me amid a river of tears and a broken heart. I realized, too, that I am spoiled. I am very used to things working out the way I need them to. Even when life has closed some doors for me - new ones have opened almost immediately. So, to not see any quick resolution to this issue other than patience is hard for me.

The one good thing is that I am pretty adaptable. I am slowly getting used to the idea. I do not like dwelling and complaining about what I cannot control and I refuse to. I am so adaptable to new situations and changes that my husband looked at me last night and actually said that I looked relieved. No. I am not relieved. If we could win the lottery tomorrow and be able to afford a downpayment on our dreamhouse I would jump at the opportunity to move in a heartbeat. What I am is realistic. What I refuse to do is dwell. If the situation has to be a certain way, even if it is not my #1 or even #3 choice - then so be it. Complaining and crying and dwelling is not going to help me do anything by stay depressed and sad. I have a lot more to live for than that and that is what I am going to do.

And even though it still sucks - its not over. The plan is still to move. It just may be closer to two years from now than two months from now.

My Saving Grace

2008-02-25T15:50:00.003-05:00

Have I told you readers that I have the chance to visit my daughter every day at daycare? Its awesome. My company has a daycare center onsite that goes from 6 weeks to age 3 and then there is also a pre-school. Its amazing.

One of the hardest things to do was to imagine going back to work and not seeing her for over 8 hours. This way, I see her every 4 hours. I also get to feed her lunch most of the time. Its amazing and awesome and I feel so blessed.

Here we are, today during break at daycare:

Me and my girl....

(she loves the camera and looks right at it or the phone or anything that interests her)

90 days on Weight Watchers...

2008-02-21T09:37:00.004-05:00

...and here are my stats.

* I gained 48lbs with my pregnancy.
* By the time I started WW I had lost 22lbs.
* 3 months on WW I am am -13lbs (35lbs total).
* 13lbs more to lose until I am at my pre-pregnancy weight.

Granted, I have 25lbs more to lose once I obtain my pre-pregnancy weight to reach my ultimate goal weight but I have decided to focus on the next 13lbs first.

My goal is to be at my pre-pregnancy weight by my birthday, June 5th.

Hope is my worst enemy.

2008-02-20T09:18:00.002-05:00

I know, that is a terrible thing to say, right?

Its just that when I want something really badly - my hopes shoot to the moon and that "something" is all I can think about. I sleep, eat, and breathe it. Every night and all day long.

Right now my dear hubby and I are working on something BIG together. A big change for our little family - and while I realize there are a lot of factors involved that make this change more of an IF then a WHEN at the moment I cannot help but move full speed ahead. My goal is to turn that IF into a WHEN really quickly before the chance slips through our fingers. My hope is so strong that it is like a rock in my belly that bounces about throughout the day.

People say to me all of the time, "Don't get your hopes up." Yeah, well how the hell does one do that? If someone HAS to say that to me - its because they know I am going to. They know the situation warrants it.

And that is where I am now. With my hopes way, way, way up - with no drop in sight unless its a crash of disappointment.

My goal at the moment, instead of working on keeping my hopes low, is to think positively, PRAY, and turn my hope into reality. I am going to make HOPE my best friend in the end. Just you watch!

The show to watch...

2008-02-20T08:10:00.003-05:00

In my opinion, the show to watch at the moment is Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles ("TSCC") because other than the usual paradox holes you get from a time travel television show or movie, TSCC continues to get better and better each week. I have not been disappointed in an episode yet.

Picture this - you are an 80s kid. You grew up knowing Governor Arnold S. simply as a mean, nasty (and then nasty but nice) cyborgenic machine from the future who said lines like, "I'll be back" or "Come with me if you want to live." Now you are in your late twenties or early thirties and there have been a rash of 80s remakes for television that just disappointed you over and over again. Do you really want to take the chance that some telivision mogul with a get-rich-quick idea of a television show will take yet another iconic movie and smash your heart to bits with it?

Well, this time you should take that chance because TSCC is not one of those television shows. TSCC is worth watching. In fact, the makers of this show are so in tuned with what true Terminator and T2: Judgement Day fans want that they even SKIPPED the third movie entirely and moved over it has if it never existed (which, to true fans - it really didn't).

I can promise you that this show gets better each week. For all you Lost fans who lamented over that carrot that promised more insight and more info each week but never delivered - TSCC is the answer to your prayers. There are answers provided each week. And now with the introduction of Brian Austin Green to the show (he is no longer your 90210 geek) things are gonna get really good. We are now getting glimpses into the future that gives us hints at the past - not only of what is going on in the show but what possibly went on behind the scenes way back during the first Terminator movie.

Now that more substance and background is added to the gun fights, fight scenes, running sequences, and apocalyptic shadow cast over the premise of the movies you actually have time to get to know John Conner and realize something: He sent his own father into the past knowing that he would die but knowing that he had to if the resistance was going to survive. You feel for him in a way you never got a chance to in the movies. The whole thing is....well, its KILLER (no pun intended) and I highly recommend it. And I am going to leave it there. I am not going to give anything else away.

Like I said: Worth Watching.

WW: Geez a Lou!!!

2008-02-15T07:49:00.004-05:00

Anyone familiar with Everybody Loves Raymond is familiar with that exclamation most often heard coming out of Frank's mouth (Ray's dad).

It works now, too. Geez a Lou is RIGHT. I am failing miserably at keeping myself on track all week long in terms of my diet aka "Lifestyle Change". I do great for a couple of days and then one day I splurge points on a Pastelito de Carne and that night I make the decision to order Chinese Food for dinner. Or Friday arrives and I decide that I want a real breakfast (i.e. high points) and then lunch on the same day I head for the grill and a basket of fries.

What am I doing to myself? My current plateau has nothing to do with FLEX plan vs. CORE plan and everything to do with what I decide to put in my mouth. Realistically, if I cannot make the right decisions on FLEX (where I can pretty much eat whatever I want) then how the heck am I going to make the right decisions on CORE where my choices are much more limited?

I am sabatoging myself. I love food. I love the tastes, the textures, the anticipation of a good meal. I am the Rat from Ratatouille without the fantabulous cooking skills. Even now, as I sit here complaining about myself, I know that I am going to go downstairs and serve myself up a plate of scrambled eggs, tater tots, and bacon. And maybe even OJ. Why? Because right now I am so hungry that I am not thinking of my diet or the scale or my pants size. And since I have made such bad decisions during this week and I have not seen any movement on the scale at all - my miserable brain is thinking, "what could it hurt now? you already screwed up the week."

I realize now that I need to get my brain on track in order to get my mouth on track. If not, I am going to be stuck with this extra 40+ lbs for longer than is healthy for my mind or for my body.

Something's gotta give - and at the moment it ain't my pants!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

2008-02-14T09:00:00.003-05:00

I have to say - being a mommy puts a whole new spin on Valentine's Day. Its not just for lovers anymore - its filled with sweetness and hugs and butterfly kisses. Amazingly, I think this is the best Valentine's Day I have ever had. And its only just begun.

I Married My Father

2008-02-13T10:20:00.003-05:00

(and its not as bad as it sounds)

I know that there are women around the world who come to this realization daily.

The women who grew up with less than desirable fathers realize this with more than a touch of shock and dismay and are the poster children for "Pyschological Issues."

The women who, like me, grew up with a father that was better-than-could-be asked-for realize this with a huge smile and more than one little misty eye.

This realization hit me over the head (again) yesterday when my husband came home with not only a Valentine's Day surprise for me - but one for our 4 month old baby girl. Yes, I know yesterday was not Valentine's Day but since we have a conflict on Thursday we celebrated it a little early (or rather, he took the iniative to). I was gifted with a beautiful bouquet of red roses and an appropriately sappy Valentine's Day card. Our baby was gifted with a huge stuffed catepillar that is twice her size and almost as cute.

Flashback to my childhood and the Valentine's Days when I remember my dad coming home, after working all day for the railroad (we are talking 12 hour shifts, outside - winter through summer) bearing a huge bouquet of flowers for my mom and always a little something for me and a little something for my sister: chocolates, stuffed animals, you name it. My Valentine's Day memories straight on through high school (where we began to receive smaller versions of our mom's bouquets) were always bright and happy - no matter if I had a boyfriend or not. Because I had my daddy. I doubt he realized how special he made those days for me or how fondly I remember them and even as I type this I get a little misty eyed and sentimental because I had (and have) a wonderful father who loved his girls and was not afraid to show it.

And now, as the mommy to a little girl, I can look forward to not only Valentine's Day as a special day for me and my husband but as one that is special for my husband and his daughter because just like my dad was my very first Valentine - so will her dad be for her. I realize now that the best gift I will ever give my children is that I chose my husband to father them, to raise them, and to love them.

What floats my boat....

2008-02-11T15:10:00.000-05:00

Here is an interesting factoid that I have realized since becoming a parent. I am wierd. I am odd. I am a freak. At least, that is what I am to non-parents or to parents of older children who have forgotten what it is to be excited over every teeny tiny thing their infant does.

I am by no means trying to say that my husband and I were, err, "normal" people before. Meaning, I was already dorky and would react the way I naturally reacted no matter what my reaction made people think of me. Actually, my husband and I are both dorks which is why we got along so well right from the beginning.

But becoming parents has made us monumentally wierder and dorkier than we ever were. In such a way that even we realize it - but it does not stop us from reacting the way we do to each other or to those around us. If you were a fly on our wall at home you would perpetually be shaking your head at our zaniness. Coo-coo is what we are!

Reasons to excitedly call my husband into the living room/kitchen area before baby:
* A preview for a cool new movie just came on the Television.
* Something monumental has happened in the world and is now on the news.
* One of the burners on the stove is on fire (this actually happened).

Reasons to excitedly call my husband into the living room/kitchen area since baby:
* Sophia is making an incredibly cute face, come see!
* Sophia wants to grab my glasses (but isn't actually grabbing them), come see!
* Sophia has noticed her feet, come see!

Are you following me? LOL. I am not sure if anyone other than another parent can really understand how much you change and how much your surroundings change when you have a baby. They are welcome changes but changes nonetheless. Previously, I was a pretty easy to please gal as it was. I did not need a big "to do" to float my boat. Now, though, I am sickeningly easy to entertain: a gurgle, a coo, a little look is all it takes - from my daughter, of course.

Then again - I have been known to be entertained when my husband gurgles, too...

Sophia's 4 Month Photos

2008-02-08T08:48:00.000-05:00

We took Sophia for her 4 month portraits last weekend. Just a little JC Penney photo shoot to see how she did and hope for just a couple of good shots. I may biased - but I think we got more than a couple of good photos. As you can tell, Sophia had a great time and we had a hard time choosing which ones to purchase as prints!

Recommend a good read!

2008-02-07T13:00:00.001-05:00

I am turning the tables on you readers and kinda forcing you to take part in my blog for once.

I am a big reader. I love books and always have. But now with a baby girl to care for and being back at work I definitely do not have as much time to read as I used to so I am starting to get a little choosier with what I pick up to read.

And this is where you come in. Please recommend a good book. A book (or series) you think is worthy of a busy mommy's time.

Thanks in advance!

I'm so proud of me!!!

2008-02-06T20:46:00.001-05:00

I am on FIRE with my diet. I have been good every day this week, watching what I eat, and avoiding all temptations. I can barely believe it. I have been either eating breakfast at home or bringing my low calorie breakfast with me to work. I usually pack my lunch so that I avoid the temptation of my company cafeteria but I did not have time to today so I was forced to go down and walk by all of those foods I vowed to avoid in order to get to the healthy stuff. But I did it!

So, like I said, I am really proud of myself. I am trying my best to keep it up and see some real results this week.

Wish me luck!

____________________
As of 2/7/08: Update - I ruined my good streak this morning by agreeing to McDonalds for breakfast when the hubby offered it up. How quickly I succumb!!!! Thank goodness for Flex Points, if not I would be done for.

My favorite Super Bowl commercial

2008-02-04T13:27:00.000-05:00

Thanks Mel D for the link up!

Sophia is eating solids...

2008-02-04T09:25:00.000-05:00

This video is of her eating solids for the first time. Unlike most parents, we started with prunes only because Sophia had been suffering from an extreme case of constipation and we needed to get things moving (so to speak).

As you can see from the video, her reaction to prunes was priceless. I think I have seen this video a couple dozen times already and it never ceases to crack me up!

Sophia Eating Prunes

Update on my MIL

2008-02-04T09:13:00.001-05:00

Hi everyone. I wanted to let everyone know that my mother-in-law is doing great. For those of you who do not know, she was diagnosed with a form of cancer a few months ago and had to have surgery to remove the tumor about a month ago.

I get lots of questions about her health and how she is recovering so I figured I would post it here and let everyone know that her recovery coming along very well. She has had a lot of support and help from family and friends and is staying very positive - as well she should. She is cancer free without the help of chemotherapy - the surgery removed it all and was considered a great success.

A good thing that has come out of this is that she was so touched by the outpouring of support from her friends and community that once she is able to she plans on "passing it on" and joining her church and friends and helping others who need it.

My husband and I would like to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers.

Sophia and Mommy

2008-02-04T09:04:00.000-05:00

Sophia is 4 months old.

We went to the mall this weekend to get her first set of professional pics taken this weekend but before we stopped for a quick photo op of mommy and baby. I love this kid.

She did so well at the photo studio. Smiling and laughing completely on cue like the good little girl she is. They got some great shots because of it. It was a fun outing with my mom and my sister who eat up every little smile and giggle my child puts out. But then again - who wouldn't?

Biased? Me? No way.

Welcome to Plateauland; Can I take your coat?

2008-01-31T14:33:00.000-05:00

*sigh*

That little word does not even begin to describe the frustration I am feeling. I am STUCK. My scale is broken. I swear it is. I have been so good this week. Seriously, on points in a way I have not been in a while. Making smarter dinner decisions. I have been SURE that I would see a change on the scale. But no. Its the same as it was on Saturday. To the very ounce. It must be stuck.

I think this is the reason they (which they, I wouldn't know, but I hear about them a lot) tell you that you should not weigh yourself every day. And I don't. I weigh myself every 2 days. Sometimes even 3 days. I am just hoping to see a change to justify how good I have been.

I am going to the fair on Saturday. If I do not see a difference by then I honestly don't know how I am going to avoid splurging on an Elephant Ear.

Someone get me a gun!!!!

2008-01-31T08:26:00.001-05:00

SHOOT ME NOW PLEASE!!!!

For the PAST WEEK I have been working on a master to do list that my boss's boss wants us to do. Its a huge excel spreadsheet which lists all open files, their status, etc. One workbook. One sheet with my files listed and one with my boss's. We each update our own but keep it in one book. SHE SAVED OVER IT WITH A DIFFERENT SPREADSHEET SHE HAS BEEN WORKING ON BY MISTAKE. I am gonna have to start all over. I cannot even fricking believe it. Shoot me now, please!!!!!!

I hate doing things over. Its SUCH a pet peeve of mine!!!!!

Homeless TV Junkie

2008-01-28T21:04:00.000-05:00

I am a TV junkie with no home. What has happened? There was once a time when my TIVO hardrive was filled to capacity. There was once a time when I actually had to be picky over what shows to record. At the moment, and I do not lie or exaggerate, there are 5 - yes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 recordings on my TIVO. I am actually caught up every day.

The exciting part of my weeks are sandwiched in. Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles on Monday and then Pysch on Fridays. Everything else is crap, although I have high hopes that Lost will be worth it after almost a year hiatus (or whatever you want to call almost a year of no new episodes aired). Monk has lost its flare. Sci Fi cancelled SG1 and left me only with Atlantis, which I am about to give up on.

Where oh where has my TV gone? At least my husband has his XBOX to entertain him when there is a lack of entertainment on the networks. This leaves me, like I said, as a TV junkie with no home. I am sick of reality TV. I am not into American Idol anymore (you can thank the Sanjaya fiasco for that one). I don't care about models or runways. Grey's Anatomy came back for a minute and then has been repeats. The spin off to that show just sucks (putting it simply). What does that leave me? Two good shows....and the news?

Someone help me.

Guess who is flipping over?

2008-01-23T10:47:00.001-05:00

You guessed right! Sophie is regularly rolling over. She is still in the early stages of getting accustomed to it because every time she does it she gets this, "wow, did I do that?" look on her face.

I am so proud of her! Okay, I was not as proud at 4:15am when she rolled herself over and demanded an early breakfast - but once I shook off most of my sleepyness (and really only another mother can understand how you can do that) and looked into her smiling face it did not take me but a second to genuinely smile back.

Heath Ledger - Rest In Peace

2008-01-23T10:41:00.000-05:00

So sad. We got the news yesterday that Heath Ledger, one of Hollywood's rising stars, was found dead in his Manhattan apartment. He was 28 years old. Cause of death is not yet known, though drugs are suspected.

So sad. Such a waste. My prayers go out to his family.

First cold, check! First stomach bug.......check?

2008-01-23T10:33:00.000-05:00

What is worse than a baby with the sniffles? A baby who is throwing up, that's what. MY GOODNESS. I can type all of this now with some thread of humor because it is over but while we were hip deep in vomiting and fevers I can tell you that no one was laughing in my house.

No one was laughing because we all had it. Sophie got hit first at daycare. I learned now a few kids through out the daycare caught this during and after the holidays and so my kid, new to daycare and all those germs, got it almost immediately. Then a few days later my husband fell down with the bug. And then I did.

What a way to spend a long weekend. Yes, when my baby got sick I prayed that I would get sick INSTEAD of her. Not that I would get sick WITH her. There are some crossed communication lines with the big guy upstairs, I think. ;-)

But hey - my hubby and I could not pay for better experience. *insert a dab of sarcasm* We have dealt with her first cold and her first stomach bug - all before she turns 4 months old. I can practically see her little body building up those immunities.

I HOPE! Please?

Officially a "Working Mom"

2008-01-14T16:22:00.000-05:00

My day this morning started at 6:30am with the first of many little heartbreaks - waking up my little sleeper an hour and a half before she would have woken up at home. Yes, I realize its necessary to get my child up and fed so that we arrive at daycare happy - but it still hurts me to do so. I can only hope that she can tell the difference between weekends and weekdays and does not start waking us up at 6:30am on Saturday mornings.

I was actually fine all morning - I was starting to think that I would make it to work without crying one bit. Sophie had a smooth car ride to daycare - we sang along to Shakira and she sang to her little stuffed Monkey (yes, it is as adorable as it sounds to hear my 3 month old chatter away to her toys). We arrived at daycare without a fuss, I settled her in, spoke with the caregivers to give them an update on her and left to head to the office.

And then the crying started. Okay, let me be blunt - sobbing. I SOBBED. I called my husband (and then MY mommy) and sobbed like my heart was breaking and could really not pinpoint the exact reason why but it literally felt like my heart was breaking into tiny little pieces. I knew she was going to be fine; she is a good baby, a social baby. I knew that her caregiver was lucky to have such a good baby to care for and that, in turn, Sophie was going to be well cared for. But at the same time - I want to be the one with her all day, making her smile, feeding her, changing her diaper. I finally calmed down. I got to work and started counting down the hours until lunch time when I could go and visit her.

Best part of my day? Walking into that infant room to find my baby in a bouncer and to see the smile on my baby's face when she focused and saw that it was HER MAMA there to see her. We spent a half hour together cuddling and smiling at each other and I swear it was heaven on earth. There is nothing that comes close to the feeling of your child recognizing you and being thrilled to see you. Lunch was over all too soon.

Second best part of my day? Right now - it is 30 minutes until quitting time which means I get to go snatch my baby up and take her home with me.

I hit the 10lb mark.

2008-01-08T10:40:00.000-05:00

Ten pounds lost, that is. It took about 8 weeks to lose them which is kind of disappointing but I am telling myself that since those 8 weeks ran smack through the holiday season that its all okay. I am gonna give myself credit for starting my diet before the holiday season instead of after it as so many people advised me to do. I am telling myself that had I not started my diet when I did I would still be 10lbs heavier at this point - if not heavier due to the weight I would have allowed myself to gain at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

So - 10lbs lost. Not too shabby. I am gonna take a moment and pat myself on the back.

*pat*
*pat*
*pat*

Sophie's first un-well Dr visit....

2008-01-07T16:56:00.000-05:00

Sophie has been battling her very first cold for the last week and a half and is currently at the tail end of it. In fact, the three of us have been sick. What a wake up call - to be sick and have to care for your sick child is no joke. I'm just glad that the first time happened before we started daycare so that I was still home to care for her and get my "sea legs" so to speak. But anyway, that is another blog for another time.

Back to the topic of this blog, to be on the safe side, I took her in to her doctor today so that I can make sure that the cold is not in her lungs or bothering her ears. Luckily, she has not had a fever so I did not have to take her in before this. Sophia is all good and other than the sniffles/congestion got a clean bill of health. No fever. Lungs are clear. No ear infection. So, just keep doing what I am doing and the cold should be fully gone in a few days.

My little baby is long and lean! In the last month she only gained 1/4 a pound but grew a whole inch. LOL. So, she is 12.5lbs and 23.5 inches long.

The dr pissed me off again with two comments. *sigh*

"Oh, she starts daycare next week? Oh no. You will be in here every day."
Uh. Thanks.

"But you are still breast feeding right? No? Oh. Hm. You stop - and now she's sick."
Ummm. Bitch. I know plenty of breastfed babies who are sick all the time.

Why is she my doctor? Because my Sister-in-Law goes to her. Am I looking into changing? Hell yes. Especially when she says things like this.

Mommy goes to Work

2008-01-06T20:25:00.001-05:00

Exactly one week from tomorrow I will be heading to work and dropping my three and a half month old daughter at daycare in the process. The idea of it is simply breaking my heart into itty bitty pieces. Realistically, I know that there is no other way for my family to live the way we do without adding my income to the mix. Realistically, I know that I am lucky that my place of employment offers onsite daycare and that its just perfect that my daughter will be placed there, near me, where I can visit her during the day. Emotionally, however, this is going to be an incredible adjustment. The first week, especially, from what I hear from those of my buddies who are mommies with children in daycare.

Last week, I as an emotional wreck about it. This week I am a little better. I am adjusting to the idea very slowly and I know that I will not fully be adjusted until it happens and I have my own little crying jag in my cubicle at work. But for now, anticipation is everything and its making me crazy...

See ya next week - when I join the ranks of the working mom.

Santa's Dilemma...

2007-12-17T11:10:00.000-05:00

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck
How to live in a world that's politically correct
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

And labor conditions at the North Pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul
Four reindeer had vanished, with out much propriety
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society..

And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced by 4 pigs, and that sure looked stupid.

The runners were removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows
Rudolf was suing o'er the unauthorized use of his nose
He'd gone to Geraldo, in front of the nation
Demanding millions in past compensation.

Half the reindeer were gone, along with his wife
Who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life.
She'd joined a self-help group, and left in a whiz
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for girls. Or just for the boys.

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets…they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish the truth.

And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.

His sack was empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everwhere…even you.

So here is that gift, its price price beyond worth
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."

Sophia Cooing & Playing - 10 Weeks Old

2007-12-10T21:46:00.000-05:00

Christmas!

2007-12-10T21:24:00.000-05:00

I love everything about it. The sights, the smells, everything... My favorite part, though, is just the FEELING that we are living in the Christmas Season. There is nothing else like it. Obviously, this year is extra special because of our child and this being her very first Christmas - even though she is much too young to really know what is going on or to remember anything. Still, her presence alone is enough to put it all into perspective.

This is what Christmas looks like in our house this year. My cats are up to their usual antics - by continuing last year's war with the tree skirt. Our smiley baby joins the fray and just enjoys the lights on the tree. I fear that next year Sophie will be more than happy to join the cats in their war against the tree skirt but I am not sure how the cats will feel about that.

Dual Blog: Weight Gain/ No Longer Nursing

2007-12-10T21:12:00.000-05:00

+1.2lbs.

I expected it. I did not do very well last week with even attempting to stay on points. Combine that with weaning the baby off the breast and having to recalculate my allotted points in addition to cutting down on the water to keep my milk from rushing back - I totally expected to gain some weight. This week will be a better week. Heck, today has already been a better day! I stayed on points all day long and I can already feel how less hungry I am since I stopped nursing.

Don't get me wrong - I did not stop nursing Sophia so that I could really start losing weight. I have already dropped 40lbs in the 10 weeks since her birth. It just sorta happened that since she started sleeping 12 hour stretches at night my milk supply just sort of fizzled away. And since I did not start pumping to make up for it - I had to start supplementing more and more formula which made things inconsistent for her routine-wise. That led me to the difficult decision of weaning her. And then just stopping altogether. It actually went really smoothly and now she is doing great. She is a lot more full than she had been the last couple of weeks which makes her notably happier - which makes mommy happier, too. Even though I have to admit that I really miss nursing her. It was a wonderful experience.

Lots of changes. Sophia is gaining weight as she should, eating well, sleeping well... Mommy is gonna be losing weight as she should, eating well...and (hallelujah!)...sleeping well, too!

Life is good!

Week 2 on Weight Watchers

2007-12-04T21:37:00.000-05:00

Stayed. The. Same. Weight. Dammit.

How annoying.

Back to the drawing board, right? Need to make sure I stay on points! I did pretty well today. Decent breakfast. Healthy lunch. Walked a lot, did not spend the day in front of the TV or sitting on my ass.

And then I messed up and had me an Oreo Frosty from Wendy's. That is what I happens when I do not see any change in weight. I slipped. I thought, what the hell - I stayed on points last week and did not lose a freaking OUNCE. *sigh*

Ah well. I wanted it. I enjoyed it. Time to start again again tomorrow.

Unsolicited advice NOT needed.

2007-11-30T19:07:00.000-05:00

I went to the mall today with my friend Alie who was visiting from San Francisco. We took Sophia with us who did really well the first half of the time we were there. Then proceeded to be a bear the rest of the time. If that kid does not get a good nap - there is hell to pay. The problem is that she does not nap for very long in carrier and her short "recharges" only last so long.

Those of you with children understand how stressful it can be to be out and about with a screaming child. You are parenting for the whole, judgemental world to see - or so it feels like. Sophia was fine if I took her out of the stroller. The problem is - she needs to learn to be fine in the stroller so I was trying to sooth her while leaving her in it. Finally, I had to just let her cry because the reality of it was - she was dead tired and would not fall asleep if I picked her up.

Aside: Let me just say that when I was single, childless, and had nothing but childless friends I used to be one of those judgemental people who would think, "that baby needs to be at home", when I would see a mommy struggling with a crying baby out in public. I guess this is karma biting me in the ass, huh? Now I understand. Now I so totally understand.

Back to me, with my crying daughter standing outside of CVS waiting for my friend to emerge. As I stood there just slightly rocking the stroller back and forth (had to do something) this old lady comes right up to me and says, "She probably has a gas. You should burp her." Hmmm. Well, if looks could kill - this lady would have dropped flat where she was standing when I told her, "she does not have gas." Well, it was probably closer to: She. Does. NOT. Have. Gas.

THE NERVE. Yeah, thats what my mood needed. Unsolicitated parenting advice from a perfect stranger. It also took balls. The last thing one wants to do is get in the path of a frustrated mother when they are looking for someone to strangle. What is it about some women and their short term memories. Why don't they remember what it was to be the mother of a newborn?!

A few minutes later Sophia fell asleep in the car and slept the whole way home. Sweet relief.

Sophie is 2 months old today!

2007-11-26T14:15:00.000-05:00

I can hardly believe that the time is passing as fast as it is. I was pregnant just a few months ago. Then Sophie was suddenly here. Now she is smiling and cooing and on the verge of laughing. So much has changed and will change so I am going to take this opportunity to record some things about her so that I can look back and remember.

Sophia's favorite way to be held is over one's shoulder as if she is about to be burped. She loves to see what is going on and taking it all in.

She is smiling really big now! She has her secretive little smiles and then the big ones she reserves for when she is really having fun.

Sophia has noticed the cats! She follows them around the house with her eyes - actually she follows everything around the house with her eyes but you can tell the cats are a special curiosity to her. We think she has plans for them.

She loves ceiling fans and smiles at them as if they are waving at her. We are thinking of naming the one in the living room.

She now loves her swing and the bouncy seat enough to spend more than 10 minutes at a time in each. Mom loves them, too, because she can now get some blogging done while Sophia is awake!

Lastly, because I need to stop myself before I go on and on, Sophia is starting to recognize faces. She knows her mom and dad and their voices, of course, but is spreading herself out to the rest of the family now, too. We swears she was playing peek-a-boo with her Tia the other day!

What is a blog about Sophia without a picture of Sophia?

BORING, I say!

Here she is sporting the teeny, tiny tiara that her Abuela brought her back from Disney World...

Delusions of grandeur? I think not!

One week on Weight Watchers...

2007-11-26T09:06:00.000-05:00

...and I have lost 3lbs.

And I am more than a little proud of myself. While I would have hoped for more on my first week, I am realistic enough to realize that Thursday and Friday were lost days due to Thanksgiving and leftovers. So, inspite of not really watching what I ate too closely on those days I still lost weight. I am gonna give myself a pat on the back for that and keep trucking on!

Off to have breakfast!

MAMA's LITTLE ELF...

2007-11-25T20:14:00.000-05:00

Sophia at 8 weeks old...

My baby had her first shots......

2007-11-20T17:34:00.000-05:00

And I am traumatized. They gave my baby FIVE shots. Two in each leg and one on her butt. *deep breath* I thought nursing her while she had a couple would help her deal with the pain. No such luck. The minute the needle went in she unlatched and screamed bloody murder. Now, these screams were of pain and shock. She was not expecting it. So these cries, to mommy, were so different than the ones when she is hungry or tired or uncomfortable. I am not gonna sugar coat it for anyone. I did not cry during it all. But when I was working on comforting her after the fact - I started crying with her. It took me quite a while to calm her down.

Good news was that she was sleeping in her carrier when we left the drs office. She slept in the car until we were a little over 5 minutes from home - and then she woke up screaming. This time it was a cranky, hungry cry so I was OK. I got home, nursed her, and she has been down since 4:30pm. I can give her more tylenol bout 6pm and if she is up by then I will. Her legs where she got the shots are already swollen. Dr says they will be tender for a day or so.

I chose the 5 seperate shots instead of the cocktail one that combined 4 of them because the doctor said that the cocktail usually causes a high fever. I did not want to deal with a high fever with her being this young so I chose against it. Next time, I may not, if given the option. She also got the rotavirus vaccine. That one was not a shot, though, that was a liquid that she drank. And she did good with it! She drank it like it tasted good. :o) That was the first thing they did.

Anyway, so I am sure I have an interesting night ahead of me. I hope she sleeps a lot but I hear that she will be very cranky today and tomorrow. So, I am cancelling the Christmas photos I had scheduled for tomorrow. I think I will just try to have someone take a nice pic of me, Abel, and her at Thanksgiving. If not, I will try and take my own pics of her for Christmas cards. We shall see.

Oh, her stats are as follows - she weighed 10.5lbs and is 22.5 inches long. She has grown two whole inches since birth! She will be 8 weeks old tomorrow.

And that is my story........

I. Am. Exhausted!!!!

2007-11-18T21:32:00.000-05:00

What is it about a cranky and crying baby that is so exhausting? Now that she is finally sleeping I can still hear her cries in my head and I still feel the tension in my neck and back. The kid does not put me through this that often but when she does I feel like she makes up for all those days where she is my calm and sweet child. Its as if she is saying, "Hey.........what if you had to deal with this every day, Mom? Aren't ya glad you don't?"

I am SO glad... So, so, so, so, sooooo glad.

I need a cookie now.

My weight loss journey begins...again!

2007-11-18T21:19:00.000-05:00

I say again because I did this already. Two times over the last 8 years I have lost approximately 35lbs. Each time. This time its different. This time I am attempting to lose pregnancy weight which, from what I hear, is a whole new ball of wax.

How am I planning to do it?
- Weight Watchers has a plan for nursing mothers. I joined online tonight.

How much do I need to lose?
- I gained 44lbs with my pregnancy
- I have lost 25lbs doing nothing but not being preggo anymore and nursing. Yes, supposedly you burn something like 500 extra calories a day when you breastfeed. Who knew?!
- I have 19lbs to go until I am at my pre-pregnancy weight...and another 20lbs until I am HAPPY with ME!

I CAN DO IT! I just need a little support and will power. So, get ready - you are about to start reading all about my weight loss journey in addition to all the other crap I blog about!

I am still a social butterfly, dammit!

2007-11-15T14:53:00.000-05:00

My daughter is 7 weeks old now. I am finally springing up and getting into more of a routine with her. Well, on somedays. Others I feel like the day shoots past without my having gotten a thing accomplished. This includes being social by phone or email. I am (or used to be) such a social person that this is beginning to get to me a little. Okay, it is beginning to get to me a lot.

I have always been a social butterfly. Always. I am friendly and charming and fun. Right? Aren't I? I have friends from all walks of life and backgrounds. I keep in touch with those friends by phone and email. I do. Or rather, I did. Then I had a baby and it has all seemed to change. I am still me - but well - I guess the only word I think of to describe myself at the moment is DISTRACTED. Extremely so. Even when I talk to people, the only thing I really have to talk about is my daughter.

I get phone calls quite often. Sometimes I get to them in time but other times - if I am busy with the baby - the machine gets it. Sometimes I remember to call my friends back and most times I forget until they call me back. Why is it so hard for me to pick up the phone lately? I feel like the only time I talk to anyone is if they call me. Either I have really persistent friends - or they have all been where I am and completely understand.

Thinking back, I remember that most of my friends became first time moms around the same time approximately 2 to 3 years ago. I vaguely remember, at the time, being that persistent caller and visitor. Now here I am, years later, walking in their shoes and being the one busy with a newborn and trying to set a routine while they are old hands at it. Some even on their second child by now.

All I can do is hope. Hope that a few things are true.

#1 - That this will pass and that I will get better at the phone calls and emails very soon.

#2 - That my friends who are moms remember what it was like and really do understand and are not just making believe that they do.

#3 - That my friends who have never been parents don't write me off as lost to the world of mommyhood and never invite me out.

Keep calling! Keep writing! Keep coming over! Keep inviting!

Don't lose hope in me yet!

I finished a book!!!

2007-11-12T11:54:00.000-05:00

Okay, so those of you who really know me are probably thinking, "Big deal, Mel - you are a bookworm, this is what you do." But no. You do not understand. I finished a book. I have a six week old baby at home who is attached to my breast half the time and needing my attention the other half and still - I have time to finish a book.

What does this mean? This means that people have no idea what they are talking about. This means that life as we know it does not end once we have children, that you can still get to do the things you love. Granted, I am only 6 weeks into this - almost 7 actually - and I have a ways to go and I know that there will be days, weeks, and months, that will be too busy for books - especially once I go back to work, too BUT this is now I am talking about. I am talking about my husband, who loves his video games, still gets to play them. We still get time to ourselves. We still watch movies and spend time together and talk.

And....if we work hard enough....we will continue to be able to do those things, even while being parents. Life was we know it has not ended. Its different. But its not over.

So, the naysayers can kiss my ass thank-you-very-much.

Dear Baby Acne:

2007-11-12T10:41:00.001-05:00

I hate you baby acne. Or infant acne or whatever it is you call yourself these days. I hate that you just showed up out of the blue with no warning. I hate every superficial bump of you that shows up to mar my sweet baby's soft face. I know that you do not hurt or itch or make her uncomfortable. She smiles in spite of you! I know this and still you make me feel like a terrible mommy because there must be something I can do to prevent you from showing up and, if not, there must be something I can do to make you go away. And so I hate that I cannot do either.

I have never been a patient person and because only time will cure you, I hate that you make me wait for you to "just go away."

Sincerely,
The Mommy

When she smiles...

2007-11-11T17:30:00.001-05:00

Our little Pookie is smiling!!!!

And this is the first picture of one of her gummy grins that I have been able to capture on camera. Its amazing that the light of one little person can fill a house with so much happiness - but it can.

Enjoy!

Sophia Victora - 6 weeks old

The Lost City

2007-11-11T17:18:00.000-05:00

A movie by Cubans - for Cubans.

My husband and I finally saw this movie last night. It was really well done. Beautifully shot. A labor of love by Andy Garcia - a movie he had been trying to get done for the last decade and ended up using a lot of his own money to get completed. This is not necessarily a movie that people not of Cuban descent will "get" the way those of us whose families lived through this will but it is definitely one worth watching no matter what nationality you are. Its about family, love of country, and hope. Its about watching all you once knew shatter to a million pieces, having to start over in a new and foreign land, and surviving through it all. It is a story about one family - and all families. Because whether you are Cuban or know someone currently living in the United States who is Cuban - you will see that this movie portrays the story of millions of Cuban families just by showing the story of one family.

I saw this movie through the eyes of the first US Citizen born of my family who has never seen or stepped foot on the land of her origin and it made me proud and sad and hopeful all at the same time. It is one of my wishes that I get to see that country free during my lifetime.

Crying it out is NO joke!

2007-11-08T19:27:00.000-05:00

Just when I think I have things under control with Sophia - she switches things up on me. I can honestly say that its a lot of work being consistent with your child. Even when your child is just 6 weeks old. Most of the time she is the perfect baby. She eats well and sleeps well and is quite adorable and smiley. But when she does not want to do something - like nap when she is over tired - it takes a battle to get her to do it. I am determined to win each and every battle because that means in the end I will win the war. Or avoid one. Whichever way you want to look at it.

However, it is exhausting matching wills with a newborn. You not only have to be consistent, you have to be creative and try new things without giving in to what she wants. What works a few times will not work the next time. If I pick her up, she wins. If I get her to fall asleep without picking her up - I WIN. And I won tonight after an hour and a half of trying. I am exhausted but exhilirated. This is hard core shit, man. Did she cry? Yes. Did just letting her cry work? No. It never does. So when people say, oh - just let them Cry It Out (CIO) - beware. CIO does not mean leaving the room and letting your baby scream her head off for a half hour - at least not to me. Honestly, my baby gets to a point where screaming turns into more screaming. So, to me, CIO means letting your baby cry for about 5 minutes at a time. Then changing her position. Or replacing the pacifier. Or shushing her. Or, as worked tonight, swaddling her and placing her on her side. Whatever works without you giving up, picking her up, and bringing her into the living room with you. I wanted to do that so bad. I wanted to be sitting comfortably on my couch, eating cookies and chillin with my baby in my arms instead of dealing with a stubborn baby in her cradle. That would have been the easy way. As would be, say, bringing her into my bed when she is screaming and not wanting to go to sleep at 3am. Will I? No. Because while those are easy options for me - they will be more work for me and my husband in the long run and, in turn, more traumatic for my child when I have to wean her out of the bad habits my laziness brought on.

Do I sound like I am judging all of those parents who have a toddler sleeping in their bed with them? If it does - sorry. But even those parents are probably wishing they had never started bringing their kid into their bed with them. Trust me, I live next door to my brother in law and sister in law, bless them, who not only have a 2 year old in bed with them every night but a 6 month old in her bassinet in their bedroom. Sorry, yeah, but I value my time with my husband a little more than that. I have seen what it can do to a relationship and to a child when there is no, or little, consistency. And I have seen how well a child can thrive when they know to expect consitency from their parent or caregiver. The difference is amazing.

Anyway, so I am a little crabby and cranky at the moment. It was a hard evening. My back hurts. My head aches. I want to fall into bed right now and just dissolve the tension in my shoulders. But the harder it is for me and my husband now the better it will be for us later. I seriously believe that. We have only 6 weeks experience as parents at the moment - and for sure we have a LONG road ahead of us. But that is OK. We are learning as we go and make a hell of a team - if I do say so myself....

My post-partum shopping experience.

2007-10-28T18:06:00.000-04:00

Here I am one month post partum. My body has had 4 weeks to do its thing. I have lost 25lbs. 19lbs to go until I hit my pre-preggo weight. Awesome, right? However, none of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit. Not my tops (boobs are huge due to breastfeeding) and not any pants that are not sweats or elastic in the waist. HOW DEPRESSING. I realized, with the help of some mommy friends, that I had to buy some transition clothes. It was a must. I need to be able to move about in the world in real clothes, not maternity clothes, so that I can hold my head up high and feel good about myself.

As of yesterday afternoon I am now the proud owner of TWO new pairs of Jeans. Size 16, Classic Fit, Old Navy. YES. Size 16. Ouch. Do I get brownie points for admitting that in writing? I hope so - because I will only feel better when I can come on here and write that I am back to my pre-pregnancy size 12 and better yet - when I finally get down to my goal size of size 10!

So, I went shopping yesterday afternoon. I left my daughter at home with her daddy and I went to the mall by myself for the first time since having the baby. It was an experience. First of all, who knew how GOOD it would feel to get out on my own? Second, it was mostly successful! I had no luck in the blouse arena - honestly, too much of what is out now are SWEATERS. Hello, we live in South Florida??? Do stores even make money at this time of the year with all of the winter stuff they have out? And where the hell did all of those loose-waisted-blouses that were so popular while I was pregnant go??? My tummy is not ready to be shown off in tight fitting tops yet!

Anyway. Thanks to a fellow Mommy recommendation I learned that Old Navy carries good jeans on the larger side. I immediately made the mistake of going to the mid-rise jeans section and picking up a size 18 and a size 20. The 18 was TOO TIGHT and the 20 was TOO BIG. *sigh* Talk about a nightmare. I almost burst into tears right there in the fitting room. Hello, even in my underwear I felt like a frump because I am freaking wearing briefs up to my waistline because bikini or anything lower still feel too uncomfortable on my c-section incision. I was about ready to bang my head on the fitting room wall and throw a full on hissy fit. But instead I took a deep breath and went back out to the jeans section resolved that there had to be a style for me. And there was. I noticed Classic Fit. I grabbed an 18 and went into the fitting room and guess what? IT WAS TOO BIG!!!! I almost fell over from my excitement. I realized that mid-rise is not what my body fits at the moment but I had NO PROBLEM being Classic - not as long as it was in a size 16. So, I walked out of Old Navy with two pairs of jeans only 2 sizes bigger than my pre-pregnancy size. Is that fantastic or what?

Its a start! Yet another new beginning in my life as a mommy.

God had it right...

2007-10-28T13:25:00.000-04:00

God had it right when He created all babies adorable. Or rather - correction - when He made love blind and saw to it that all parents thought their child was the most adorable and fascinating of all children. This comes in very handy at 4am when those mommies and daddies are tired and frustrated and their child has decided that it is morning time and all should be awake and playing. Instead of sleeping. Because only parents can see through a red temper driven face and squalling screams to the adorable, sweet child they know is in there somewhere.

I imagine had He not had this in His grand plan all along that those sleep deprived parents would look down at their child, think he or she is not as cute as they thought and proceed to lock them in a room and let them scream the house down. The rest of us, all of us dupes who are utterly and clearly in love with their child and groan with frustration one second - and smile the next because (honestly) that little sound she makes when she cries is just SO CUTE.

Yep. Blind with love we are.

Are you Tigger or Eeyore??

2007-10-26T12:27:00.000-04:00

This is a great question and it is totally YOUR choice. I saw this guy and the full lecture on Oprah. I was more impressed with this man and his resolve than any one in recent memory. His positive thinking blew me away. Why??? Because he is DYING from Pancreatic Cancer. One of the things he talked about was that you can choose to be a Tigger or an Eeyore in life. That was pretty self explanatory. But he said something else in addition to that which was that its amazing how much quicker people are to step up and want to be involved and help you in your time of need if you are a Tigger about it rather than an Eeyore. That if you are negative people will still help - but they will walk slowly to do so. If you are a Tigger - people will surprise you by how quickly and how generous they will be in their resolve to be there for you.

And I AGREE! I know people who are negative and do nothing but complain. Who expect bad things to happen - and when they do they get even more negative and complain even more! Then I know people who think positive - even in the face of situations and hurdles tougher and more all consuming than those who are negative are dealing with AND THEY STAY POSITIVE! This has always amazed me. And this man really put it all into perspective and laid it out there. And he says it a lot better than me....so be sure and watch when you get a chance. I promise, you will not regret it.

This is the WHOLE lecture.... almost 10 minutes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HqdnjgkExY

This is the condensed version he gave on Oprah...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0aO64aKqek

I have a tiara...and I know how to use it!

2007-10-16T19:08:00.000-04:00

Princess Sophia...my 20 day old baby girl. We had a doctor's appointment this morning and she weighed in at 8lbs. 12oz., and measured 21 inches long. She is a growing girl and is growing healthy and happy and vibrant. She is coming into her own and my husband and I are enjoying every second of it...

Life as we all know it...

2007-10-15T12:11:00.000-04:00

I guess it is no surprise that I have not been able to post a blog in a few weeks. Life as we knew it is now completely different in a million good ways and quite a few that really required some adjustment to but even those are manageable because of Sophia. Its amazing really - the lack of sleep. The lack of...anything...of life as we knew it. I am getting on average 5 hours of sleep a night. I am basically holed up in my home because the baby is too young to really go anywhere and the car is really a little cramped with the car seat (4 door sedan is on order, hello family mobile!). However, even in the midst of all that - I am incredibly happy and no, not in a delirious, sleep deprived way. I find myself wondering how it is possible to smile or laugh at 3am while changing a poopy diaper - but I do. Its impossible not to. Our little Pookie makes the cutest sounds at all hours of the day, especially when she is working on finishing up a poopy diaper when I am smack in the middle of changing her. We swear she waits for her last diaper to be off and her butt to be bare be for she locks and loads and fires. She has gotten us each quite a few times. It has become a joke between my husband and I.

I woke up the other night to hear my husband give a shout from his side of the bed. "Aw, man - she got me!" he was telling me as he was laughing and struggling with our squirming infant. You know your life has changed drastically when projectile pee and poop landing on your shirt and shorts is cause for startled laughter instead of indignant annoyance. Its the love, I tell you. There is now this innocent little person who we really cannot get enough of - middle of the night feedings, flying poop, temper tantrums, and all.

It is not all poop either. I have found new love for those around me because of the love I see they have for my daughter. Its an amazing thing to see my parents as grandparents. My two strongest role models are now walking, talking mounds of mush over this little bitty person who can barely hold her head up. She is way too small to wield so much power over people - yet she does. At the moment, she is the boss of all of us. People are planning their whole weekends around when they get to see her and hold her and...just look at her. It really seems as if there is nothing that can bond an already bonded family like a new baby.

If you had asked me before Sophia was born if I could love my husband any more than I did...I would have said probably, yes. There are things he does all the time that a) make me realize how much I love him and b) make me burst with love for him. But seeing him as a father. Seeing how over the moon he is over our daughter. It has, without a doubt, made me fall in love with him again - in a whole new way. Sappy? Absolutely! And I love it.

So, yes, life as we know it has changed completely and I am not complaining. What I am is curious. Seriously. If she has changed and warped our lives so completely in just 3 weeks...what will my life be like in 3 months? It is like she can wave her tiny hand and will us to to appreciate the things that we did not realize needed, or warranted, any appreciation. The best way to describe it is to tell you that I am on the first baby loop of a monster roller coaster where the cart is traveling in slow motion - and for once in my life I am not willing to, nor wanting to, speed it up. I am in the moment and enjoying every tiny nano-second.

Here she is...

2007-10-03T13:46:00.000-04:00

Name: Sophia Victoria

Born: Wednesday, 9/26/07 at 4:47pm

Weight: 8lbs, 8oz

Length: 20.5 inches

Introducing Sophia Victoria: Birth Story

2007-10-03T13:43:00.001-04:00

It has been a week since Sophia has been born and I am finally able to sit down and write her birth story. What a week. It’s been wonderful – aside from healing from the c-section which, I will be honest, is a little more than I expected. I was not expecting to be this uncomfortable. I heard from so many people, “it’s not that bad,” and really – it’s not that good either. But – the end result is fabulous. I have a beautiful baby girl!

I think I need to pinch myself to really know that this is my life. Things are great. Sophia is such a good baby that I am hesitant to keep saying it because I do not want to jinx myself but at the same time I am marveling at it so much that I cannot help but say it.

Well, let me start with the birth story. I was a scheduled c-section. I was nervous as heck. Excited but nervous. All of it was so new and unknown. How would it feel? How would I feel? We got to the hospital and things happened fast from there. We checked in at admitting. Got my first bracelet of the day and signed our life away. Then we were moved to recovery for prep. The nurses at South Miami are all what they were raved about. Just fantastic and supportive. Once I was all prepped and IV’d I was able to walk down to the waiting room with Abel to see my parents and mother in law. It was very emotional for them. And then for me because my dad kept giving me the same teary look that I had only seen once before – on my wedding day. The anticipation of everyone waiting to welcome Sophia was overwhelming and I made sure to head back to the prep room before I got teary, too, because I knew that was coming anyway.

Back in prep, the doctor arrived and things went fast from there. I walked over to the OR and was given the spinal. I was laid down on the bed and started getting numb. What a bizarre feeling. And scary. I was worried that I was would be one of the 70% of women (a stat I learned earlier from the anesthesiologist) who vomit once the numbness hits the stomach and lung area. Thankfully, I did not - which surprised me. At this point they let Abel in. He was such a rock. I could tell by his face that he could tell by my face that I was starting to get a little freaked out. Every time I tried to move my legs I had to breath deep and wiggle my hands to feel better. He kept having to tell me to keep my eyes open and look at him. I wanted this over. I hated the feeling of being numb and not in control of my body.

At this point I asked Abel if they had started cutting. My doctor heard me and responded that not only had they started cutting but that they were already half way through the uterus. This is where things get interesting. First of all, knowing that we were half done calmed me down and allowed me to focus on Abel and the baby. We find out later that the baby had burrowed herself so high up in my belly that it took a lot of elbow grease and three tries before the doctor was able dislodge her enough to deliver her. Plus, she had so much hair that getting a grip on her was not an easy thing. I could hear the doctor giving details about all of this but really was just waiting for that cry. I could not believe how much I wanted to just hear my baby. I get emotional now just thinking of it. Then I heard the baby nurse say, “Wow. Look at that hair and those cheeks. What a beautiful face!” I learned at that point that just knowing she was out, okay, and beautiful was all I needed to lose it. I started crying slowly – and then I heard her and the tears came from no where and kept flowing. Before I knew it I was sobbing along with my baby – who was really angry to be out of her nice warm and dark home. I loved it. Abel, walking approximately 6 inches above the floor, fluttered around the baby as they cleaned her. And then I got to see her. What an amazing feeling, seeing my baby for the first time. Her cheeks, her nose, her mouth – all so tiny and beautiful. It was that sight that got me through the next 2 plus hours in recovery while I waited for my legs to start working again. Of course, I laid flat on my back and started text messaging everyone myself. LOL. No way could I wait until later to pass on the news.

Abel would pop in and out and show me video on our camera of my family’s reaction to seeing her for the first time, then her in the transition room, then her getting her first bath. So, I really did not feel like I was out of the loop or missed a thing. It was great. And then a few hours later I was in our room and holding my daughter. I breast fed her as soon as everyone left (which was not so long because at this point visiting hours were coming to an end) and she latched on like a champ – and has not let go. Breastfeeding is going SO well. So well, that my milk came in while in the hospital and I had to ask for a pump to get some relief. Since then I have been nursing and pumping – and Sophia drinks from the bottle or breast just as easily. No nipple confusion here.

Like I said – life is good. I am going to be so difficult to live with once I can get online more often because I am seriously Sophia’s number one fan. She is fantastic and lovely and sweet and such a good baby.

And since I could go on and on and on about everything I am experiencing as a new mom – I am going to stop here. I think you guys get the point by now, no?

Less than 24 hours to go....

2007-09-25T21:04:00.000-04:00

and it will be Sophia's birthday. 4pm, September 26th, 2007.

The hubby and I are relaxing at home, a happy little two-some looking forward to the day we can add a third to our home. Its still amazing to us that this will happen tomorrow with her birth and that by Saturday we will have our own squalling and squealing little bundle of love here at home with us.

Wish us luck. Keep us in your prayers. My next blog will be an introduction of Sophia Victoria and that is a blog I have been waiting 28 years to write.

STAY TUNED.

Last day of work for 3.5 months!!!

2007-09-21T13:42:00.001-04:00

HOLY COW!

As someone who started working fulltime when she was 18 years old and has since not taken any time off - the idea of more than 12 weeks of not having to get up, get dressed, and go into an office is so surreal. I am looking forward to it, though! I know I will not be bored - I will have a newborn that is going to be keeping me very busy and I feel so blessed that I have the opportunity to spend some time at home with her before coming back to work. But still - will I get spoiled and wish that I did not have to come back? Or will I be foaming at the mouth for a challenging office job and welcome coming back to work and being around adults all day? Only time will tell how I will feel at the end of my leave.

For now - my desk is clean, the temp is trained, my boss is aware of all odds and ends... Sayonara to all coworkers for 12 weeks, people! Okay, not all 12 weeks - I do plan on bringing the baby by and showing her off but as far as work goes...you know what I mean. I have an ear to ear grin about it, too!

Its time for me to GO!

Sophia has a Birth Date....

2007-09-18T18:17:00.000-04:00

And it is next Wednesday, September 26th at roughly 4pm in the afternoon. Sophia Victoria will arrive by c-section and this was not an easy decision on my part. But, in the end, it was my decision and although it feels surreal I am getting accustomed to the idea little by little. In a little over a week I will have my baby here with me.

But - that is jumping ahead. Let me start at the beginning of the day. 11am this morning we had the appointment for our growth ultrasound. She is measuring in the 90th percentile for size. Her waist was the first indication that she was already big. Her head sealed it. The estimate of her weight is showing about 8lbs at this moment. I am 37 weeks along - she is measuring as if I am 38w4d. Her head is something like 40cm already - which explains in a BIG way (pun intended) why she refuses to drop into the birth canal. Well, refuses is a strong word because honestly I can feel her trying. The pressure gets crazy sometimes. But nothing happens. I was hoping that my drs appointment today would show that she has made some progress. No such luck.

I have not progressed at all. The dr can barely feel her head. And so, I got dressed and Abel and I went into his office for a chat. To make the conversation short let me break it down for you.

1. I could wait and see what happens within the next 2 weeks until my due date. But given her size and the amount she can grow in 2 weeks time I was looking at a c-section or delivering a 10lb baby vaginally - and thats a big maybe.

2. I asked the dr about induction. He basically told me that if all the conditions were favorable for an induction - fine. But for me, he does not think I am a good candidate. She is high, she is large, and he was not for recommending forcing her out because he said that chances were that I would be in labor for a long time and all indications showed that I would end up with a c-section anyway.

3. So, based on the above I am scheduling for a c-section. Not my first choice. Not the way I originally wanted to go but at this point I honestly do not want to put her through the trauma of being induced since she is not even close to the position she should be at this point. I honestly just want her here safe and healthy. I did not come by the decision lightly but I do feel confident that it was my decision. The doctor did not pressure us - he leveled with us and that I appreciated that. Plus, I know my body and I know what my feel and I can honestly say that I suspected that we would have to go this route.

I tried for Monday the 24th but there were no openings at the hospital - so Wednesday it is. We are having a baby next week!

Now - how is that for an update?

Our Celebrity Look Alikes - Ya think?

2007-09-17T21:06:00.000-04:00

18 days until my due date!

2007-09-17T14:05:00.000-04:00

But who's counting?

Aside from the monumental excitement of how close I am getting to finally meeting my daughter - I am also really, really, really looking forward to wearing cute shoes and stylish, non-maternity clothes. I have spent today training the temp who will be my replacement for the 12 weeks I am on maternity leave. Yes, everyone here is already well aware that they are not allowed to like her more than me. Anyway, back to my point - she is tall where I am short, she is slender and curvy where I am just round at the moment, and she is blond where I am...not blond. Not that I want to be blond, I am very cool with my black hair - but I just needed to show you all the ways that she is not me. Have you got a good visual there?

She is also dressed to the nines from head to toe in clothes that I am just dying to start wearing again. A nice button down tailored blouse (buttons, what are those?), slim slacks, and gorgeous pumps (my feet have seen nothing but ballerina flats and flip flops in months). I want to cover her in a brown paper bag and throw her off the roof. Can I? Please?

However, it is 18 days from my due date and soon enough I will not only be able to wear clothes like that again - but I will even be able to SHOP for them!!! NY&Company here I come - baby carriage and new shopping partner in tow! Sophia's first word may just be MALL!

Soon - very, very, VERY soon!!!!!!

My Mom - The Blogger!

2007-09-17T09:20:00.000-04:00

*sniff*

I am so proud of her. LOL. My non-tech inclined mom has decided to join the blogging world. If you are entertained and interested by all things children then I promise this is a blog you will love reading.

This is a fairly new endeavor for her, so be patient and check back often for updates. I must say, though, for a newbie - she has gotten off to a wonderful start.

See below to the link to Nana's Daycare Blog.

http://nanadaycare.blogspot.com/

We are READY! But the cats....?

2007-09-16T20:49:00.000-04:00

What I mean to say is, the house is now ready for baby!

This weekend my hubby and I put the finishing touches on the baby's nursery. Her closet is completed and fully stocked. Is there anything more adorable than teeny tiny baby clothes hanging on teeny tiny hangers? Her drawers are full of clean clothes, burp cloths, bibs, and blankets. Her swing is put together. Her infant to toddler rocker is assembled, as well. Most of the slight, personal touches that will make her nursery her own are hanging on the walls or sitting on her shelves. I walk by this adorable room and cannot help but smile. Very soon we will have a daughter and this room, which at one time was my husband's office, will be her haven and her play room.

However, I would be remiss if I did not admit that there were two members of our little family who are a tad put out. The cats. Gypsy and Peanut. They have been members of our family for longer than Sophia was an idea in our heads and hearts, and while we are doing all we can to help them adapt to the idea of a baby on the way, we are also doing all we can to make sure that their adjustment and readiness to be involved in all things baby is on our terms - not theirs. One of those ways is by assembling all of her equipment (seats, swing, etc) and leaving them out so that the cats get used to seeing them. And another is by adding a retractable screen door to the outside of the nursery's doorway.

And BOY, if that screen has not become the cats' mortal enemy. They hate it! The oldest cat, Gypsy, has been able to open most types of doors for a while now. Bi-fold closet doors, as well as bedroom doors that are fitted with handles instead of knobs. Once we changed those handles to knobs, it stopped her from getting into many places where she was not allowed. However, she still considers herself quite the Houdini and this new screen door provides no way in for her and that frustrates her to the point that she gets very vocal about it - especially if me, her beloved mama, is on the opposite side. I felt pretty guilty - while still being amused. My husband, her tormentor, loved every minute and every frustrated meow.

Peanut, however, had a problem actually seeing the screen and earlier today expected to leave the baby's room at full speed - but encountered the screen instead. That was, without a doubt, the funniest moment of the day. The look she gave me when she shook off the blow of hitting the screen was one of pure confusion and consternation. And indignation - because my husband and I were laughing our butts off.

So, now the house is ready. The nursery is ready....but out fur babies are not. And I tell you what, I cannot wait until the day when I see them interacting with the baby. Not only will we continue to be fully entertained by that cats' antics - but I fully expect to get some hysterical pictures of them interacting with the baby and all of the items that a baby brings. Its gonna be GREAT!

Six Years Later.

2007-09-13T08:47:00.000-04:00

This blog is a few days late but since I do not think that 9/11 is a day that should be remembered only on its anniversary I think that is okay. I think about what happened on that day all year long. Its not something that I think will ever be erased from my mind - not only those famous images you catch glimpses of on television but the feeling and emotions that were brought up by all of the events of the day and the week following.

Let me just admit right now - I am an Oprah fan. Yes, I TIVO her show every day and watch it when I can - which is basically when my hubby is not home because he really cannot stand it. Yesterday I caught up on her 9/11 special and have to say that I was so impressed with the way it was done. It was set in NYC. And it focused on the children of 9/11 - 6 years later. It was heartbreaking and humbling. These children who lost mothers and fathers are stronger and more resilient than most people I know. They are honoring their lost mothers and fathers every day by being the best that they can and hoping to still make those parents proud.

A few of the moments were more heartbreaking to me than others. There was a young girl who was very young, maybe 6, in 2001. You would hope things would be better or easier for the young ones who maybe do not remember as much. This is not the case. She talked about how it actually gets harder every year because she realizes more than she did and as she grows up some of the emotion brought on by that day actually gets stronger. Whether its her little mind growing up and gaining adult emotions and realizations or the media when it replays the events of the day over and over again. I felt for her in a way that I cannot even describe as she sat in front of that camera and described, in tears, all of the above. It surprised me and shook me and broke my heart all over again.

Another thing I wanted to point out is the answer to this question that Oprah posed to the kids. She asked them what September 11th means to them. Their answer? That is just a date. Its just one day. Its just when it happened. They live with the aftermath of September 11th and every day of every week of every month. To them, this is not remembered as, "oh what happened on that day." To them, its an every day thing. And it actually seemed so much harder for them when the world suddenly wakes up around the anniversary and remembers. Because they always remember. Its always with them. They do not have all year long to put it aside and go on with their lives. But the amazing thing? They do. They have grown up. They still live. They all admitted that they enjoy life and remember their fallen parents or family members in ways that would make the lost ones proud and not sad.

If you are interested in seeing some clips of the show, and I would really recommend it, here is a link to the website:

http://www2.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200709/tows_past_20070911.jhtml?promocode=HP21

False Labor - Such a Tease!

2007-09-11T08:54:00.000-04:00

Okay, so yesterday I told a few friends (women who had been pregnant in the past) about how sick I had been all weekend long. I originally thought it was food poisoning but then was not so sure because it lasted a lot longer than it had in the past - but hey, pregnancy does wierd things, right? Well, those mommy friends of mine both told me that this also happened to them a few days before they went into labor and that this could be a sign that my body was preparing for labor. After I heard this - I started noting contractions and started getting nervous. Could the psyche really be that strong?? I called my husband, who luckily was still at home, and had him pack the rest of my hospital bag. Just in case.

At about noon, I started timing contractions. They were approx 10 minutes apart based on my work computer (I did not have anything with a second hand so it was hard to be accurate). I would get up and walk around and they would get worse instead of subsiding. They felt so much stronger than Braxton Hicks - but not really, really painful so I was torn. I did not want to be paranoid but I could not help but wonder. Would today be the day I meet my baby? I was early, yes, but at almost 37 weeks she would be a perfectly heatlhy newborn so I was not worried about complications on that front.

Finally, at 3pm I went home. I had called my dr and all indications at this point were that I should just relax for a little while and see what happens and if they continued then to go to the hospital. After I was home for about an hour the contractions stopped altogether. I had a couple more later that evening but nothing consistent. A part of me was relieved. The timing was not what I wanted and even though I know I do not have a choice - I would rather her wait a week or so. A bigger part was disappointed just because I am so ready to meet her. So, hubby and I kept ourselves busy by (me folding clothes) and he checking off a few more "baby to do's" off of our list.

So, I guess the day happened that way for a reason. We got things done - and also treated ourselves to a bit of a labor drill.

I feel pretty! And oh, so happy...

2007-09-09T12:10:00.000-04:00

I made a decision a few months ago that I definitely wanted to have professional maternity pictures taken of myself. I wanted this for all of us. For me, to help me look back on the awkwardness that is pregnancy and see the beautiful side of it. For us as a couple, to capture how excited and happy we are about this baby. And for our daughter. I want her to be able to see how very excited we were about expecting her.

Studio by Carmen helped me achieve all of this. I wanted to share just a few of my favorite photos with everyone and to give Carmen her due. She did a fabulous job. So, please do check out the link to her blog that I have on this page - she is incredibly talented and you can tell she loves what she does.

Voila! - A happy couple, expecting their first child and basking in everything that comes with it...

BOOM-BOOM! Ruuuun!

2007-09-06T10:32:00.000-04:00

I feel like I should look down at the floor and see a bunch of tiny, Japanese people running from me yelling, "Its GODZILLA!" That is how huge I feel lately. I am just complaining. I know I could feel worse but I guess it amazes me how quickly I could go from feeling pretty darn good to feeling like...well, like a big BLOB.

This is me - waddling down the hallway at work or through my house. I feel like I just blew up this weekend. I feel HUGE. I do not think I am exaggerating either. I feel a lot bigger all over than I did just last week. It feels like it is slowly getting worse, too. My waddling is much more pronounced and as of this week my wedding rings no longer fit comfortably. The puffiness is spreading from my feet and ankles on up to different areas of my body. I feel heavier - my arms, my hands, my knees... I have always heard that the last month is the most uncomfortable but I had NO idea it would be this pronounced of a difference. Almost from one day to the next.

People see me and either smile indulgently or look at my belly and away and do not make eye contact. It makes me wonder what they think. The indulgent smiles I am sure are women who can relate or men who are attached to women who can relate. The non-eye contact and nervous people are women with no experience with pregnancy and men who just have no clue. At this point, I am not sure which group I prefer.

29 days until my due date. That means that very soon I will start feeling like myself again. For the most part. I hope.

Pow-chaka-pow-wow...

2007-09-05T10:17:00.000-04:00

Yes, yes - cue the super cheesy porn music in honor of the newest sex scandal. Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern. Did they engage in gay sex? Hmmm. I am going to go on record and say that I believe they did. I can see it. You have hot, pin up Anna Nicole Smith and her two beaus. I think of the drugs that were floating around. Combine all of that and you have a steamy session of experimentation.

Enter the DUMB moment, though. Supposedly, there is a tape of this. Idiots. I never get this! So many of these celebrity types are always getting caught having sex on tape. Are they morons? WHY record it? WHY? Why do famous people always record their sexcapades and think that no one will ever see it? Sure, record a graduation or a birth or a wedding on video - those are events you want to share with others and events where you would want to remember every little detail. But taping a moment where you decided to indulge in some extra kinky sex? And then expecting no one to ever see it? Puh-lease.

Its one thing for any of us normal, average people to tape ourselves - no one cares about us - but when you are a celebrity or having sex with a celebrity - its gonna come out eventually, people! And even us normal, average people never know if the person you are having sex with today will be (I wish) the Brad Pitt of tomorrow. So, I would honestly recommend never taping yourself. But that is another blog for another time...

Back to Birkhead and Stern - Do you think they did it? I do! That's my story and I am sticking to it...

The QUEEN

2007-09-04T11:15:00.000-04:00

This is one of those movies that I have been intrigued by since I heard about it and became even more interested once I saw the previews. However, it was not one of those movies that anyone I knew wanted to go see. Neither was it something I could talk hubby into renting and watching with me.

Thank goodness for cable! I finally got the opportunity to TIVO 'The Queen' since it was a Starz premiere this weekend and I sat down to watch it yesterday while I had the house to myself.

I can honestly say that it was SUBLIME. I loved this movie. Every second of it. It was as if it was an inside peak into the royal family and their reaction and response in the aftermath of Princess Diana's untimely death that summer of 1997. More than the royal family it really focused on The Queen, her role in all of this, what the British public expected - and the very young, very new Prime Minister Tony Blair's role in these events.

Helen Mirren was brilliant in her role of Queen. And the actor who played Blair did a "smashing" job in his role of the young Prime Minister. I highly recommend it.

Camel Toes.

2007-08-30T13:56:00.000-04:00

A friend made me think of this today and I decided that I needed to blog about it because it is seriously a big gripe I have. You know how you look at other women or people and the way they act or dress or wear their hair or care for (or not) their skin? You know how you sometimes wonder HOW anyone could go out looking like that or wearing that or get away with even saying that?

My, "oh my GOD, would she STOP" moments always happen when I see a woman walking around with a Camel Toe. Do you know what a Camel Toe is? Have you heard this expression?

For those of you who have not, let me clue you in: It is when a woman wears her pants jacked up so high and so tight that it basically creates a wedgie in her woman's area. Seriously, push aside the fact of how ugly it looks for a second and think about how uncomfortable that is. I can excuse a woman for the goof of wearing red or black panties with white pants - because she cannot feel how it looks. But a Camel Toe is not something that you can walk around and say, "wow, I never even noticed that." Many of the women who suffer from this delusion are the same ones who refuse to wear thong underwear due to the fact that they are undies that go up your butt.

HELLO???? And those pants are more comfortable?? I say we start a movement.

JUST SAY NO TO CAMEL TOES!

Tell your friends and neighbors. Show your girlfriends the light and say YES to buying pants the correct size for every part of your body.

We GRADUATED!!!!

2007-08-28T20:26:00.000-04:00

After 5 Mondays of driving to the hospital in the evenings for our Childbirth Preparation Class we finally had our last class last night. Each week we learned more and more about what we can expect when we go into labor and how to cope at each stage until the baby is delivered and even after. We both enjoyed the teacher, the classmates, and the curriculum immensely. All of that really surprised us. We knew we would learn things we did not know but we really did not expect to take away this level of confidence in ourselves. I know now that I am as prepared as I can be to enter the unknown that is labor and delivery. Well, yeah, its still unknown to me - but its not as foreign as it was before. This class prepared me in a way that TV shows like Birth Day or A Baby Story really cannot. And what it did for hubby was even better - it prepared him to support me. Yeah, I know he is still going to freak in a big way when he hears me utter those all famous words, "Its time!" But once he gets his bearings I really think he will do great. We make a great team.

So, last night we were called up to the front of the class. We got our diploma (i.e. Certificate of Completion) and were sent on our merry way. Now the preparing really begins. Packing our labor bag and our after labor bag. Lining the bed and car with plastic in case my water breaks. And waiting. Waiting for that all important cue that our daughter, as comfortable as she has been in my belly these last few months, is ready to come out and meet us.

I cannot believe I am saying this - but I am ready! I really am. For all of it. For the labor and delivery - and for all the work that will come along with this baby.

WE CAN DO IT!

Tum, Tum, Tum, TUMS!

2007-08-28T20:20:00.000-04:00

These suckers are life savers from another mother. I am considering buying stock in the company that makes them. Now that my pregnancy has progressed as far as it has - at 34 weeks - I am popping these suckers within 30 minutes of every meal. Like candy, man. Magic candy. I *heart* them....

Blockbuster Night: FRACTURE

2007-08-27T08:49:00.001-04:00

I may be a little late with this one. I was not really interested in seeing it while it was in theatres and really only rented it on a whim. But I am so glad I did. It was a fantastic movie. I always forget how much I enjoy watching Anthony Hopkins on screen. What he can do to a role is freaking amazing - even one where he is supposed to be villainous (uh, Silences of the Lambs, anyone?) he somehow gets you rooting for him. Well, most of the time anyway.

If you have not seen this flick - I highly recommend it. The plot twists, mystery, and drama had me and hubby riveted. There was not a dull moment in it for me. Oh - and I am not too modest to say that we correctly guessed a lot of those plot twists.

This was not your usual who-dunnit.

A Quiz for Fun....

2007-08-23T16:28:00.001-04:00

What 2004 HIT song are you?

Do you even remember what was keeping you busy or entertained in 2004?

This Love by Maroon 5

"I was so high I did not recognize
The fire burning in her eyes
The chaos that controlled my mind"

You were so great in 2004 that you make everyone a little bit sick!

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

Showered with Generosity....

2007-08-20T10:25:00.000-04:00

My Baby Shower was this weekend...

Having gone the whole bridal shower route and wedding route and realizing really how generous people can be I thought I was prepared for the baby shower. I knew people would open their hearts (and yes, honestly, their wallets) to shower this unborn baby girl and us, her parents, with just about everything we will need to welcome her with. And they did. It is different than a bridal shower, though, when it is for your child. It made everything so real and so much more special. And it felt surreal. Looking at the pictures it is hard to wrap my head around the fact that the bump under my shirt is a baby and that in just over 6 weeks she will be due to arrive - and basically stay for good.

I looked around to see friends of mine who a year or two ago did not have children, sitting in that room with their little babies in their lap or attached to their boob, and I think that very soon it will be me sitting at someone else's shower with my very own baby. Wow! In fact, I said just that to my husband last night. Its an awe inspiring thought. This child who was but a twinkle of an idea in our minds 14 months ago when we decided to actively try to conceive a baby and then 8 months ago when we were successful at conceiving her - to think that in just 6 weeks time she will be here is just too much.

Anyway, enough of that. I can go on all day, really. So, here are a few pictures from the baby shower. My mom and sister did a fantabulous job of setting everything up and arranging everything. I know it was a lot of work for them but you can definitely tell how much love and care they put into each and every detail. So, thank you to them and thank you to all of my friends and family who "showered" us with so much. We love you!

OXOXOX.

Four (one in the belly) generations...

Even Sophia got greeted by our guests!

Wow! Everyone was oh-so-generous!

A detail shot of one of the tables. I loved the color scheme! So original and bright.

Boyfriend, Fiance, Husband....Daddy?

2007-08-17T09:40:00.001-04:00

This particular blog is about my husband who I am overwhelmingly in love with and I am currently in a sappy mood about. So, if you are not in the mood to read a whole segment that gushes and expounds - you might as well stop reading now. And don't say I did not warn you!

Abel has been - awesome. The last few nights I have started really having trouble getting comfortable in bed and he is right there with me, rubbing my back, rubbing out my leg cramps - without complaint and without me asking him to. I told him yesterday that just those small things make me feel like I am not alone in this process. And even though, I really am not alone in a physical way pregnancy is so bizarre and strange and new that unless you are going through it, too, you cannot truly understand what it feels like for your body to go through these changes. My friends are great. But every pregnancy is always different - so even your friends who have been in this position before have never really been there with your thoughts and emotions and feelings and discomforts. This really can be a one person process. Its amazing to me sometime that someone who will never get pregnant or ever truly understand can really be there without thinking. When I thanked him for being there, for being that support for me, he was really surprised. He could not think of what it was that he was doing different or say that he was consciencly thinking of doing things a certain way. I guess he is just smooth like that!

And before you start rolling your eyes - no, he is not perfect. We are not the perfect couple. We have our moments just like any other couple does. We get cranky and moody and irrational. But if I were to focus on those moments all of the time I would really lose the bigger picture - which is that most of the time we are not like that.

I love us as a couple and have from the very beginning. I knew when I met him that he was it for me - which was no small feat because I was definitely a serial dater and discard-er of men. I was not the type of girl to embark on a second date if there was no spark in the first. And when I did, it never worked - the spark (the CHISPA) needs to be there. And with Abel it was from date #1. It was new and exciting. I had found him! Of course, it took him a little longer to realize it, too, but not that much longer. Everything just kind of flowed for us - in spite of the long distance relationship and living well over an hour from each other. We made it work. We fell in love. We dated. We got engaged. And we got married. Boom, boom, boom - life long events just fell into place. Perfectly - as if chiseled by the hand of God - because I certainly could not have planned things out more beautifully so it had to be a power more stronger than my own that blessed us with this life.

And now we are pregnant. Expecting our first baby. A little girl who I keep picturing will look exactly like my younger sister but will probably be just as precocious as her daddy.

And the idea of him as a dad. Wow. Surreal. Seeing how exciting he gets at her kicks and at the prospect of meeting her really is such a turn on emotionally. Sappy as it is, I am so full of love some of the time that I barely know what to do with myself. This process, this pregnancy has not only made fall in love with him all over again in a whole new way - but has also made me realize what a smart cookie I was to snatch him up.

I imagine my labor and delivery and get excited at the prospect of seeing my baby girl for the first time. The feeling is too all encompassing to describe. Its already a love that wells up from the pit of my belly and spreads through me like a light. But the image of my husband, my love, seeing his child for the first time - that is what really gets me. I get emotional and excited and really, really impatient. But most of all I know that it is a moment that will stay ingrained in my memory for a lifetime. Even amidst all of the other life long, momentous events that are sure to occur.

Childbirth Class

2007-08-14T10:18:00.000-04:00

Last night when I got home from work I was exhausted. I did not want to move from the couch to pee - let alone drive the distance from my home to the Childbirth Class we have every Monday for 5 weeks. But we had to go. So, we dragged ourselves, paper, pens, blanket, and pillow to the hospital at 7pm.

Once there I really enjoy it. I love our instructor. She is originally from South Africa, has worked at this hospital for 20 years, and is really funny and gets everyone involved. I think Sophia likes her, too, because she does NOT stop rolling around the whole time. If I were at home the movements would be less - being there its a constant thing. It cracks my husband up while at the same time causing him to help me get comfortable every 5 minutes or so as I shift in my seat. Last night she was positioned on my right side, causing my back and hips to really ache due to the pressure. She is not a tiny thing anymore. She is probably close to 5lbs already and seriously - needs to pick a freaking lane. Or spot. Whatever. Just stay put, please...

One of my questions for my doc today is to see if he can do an u/s and tell me what position she is in. I have a very strong feeling that she is transverse most of the time and considering how much she moves and how fast she is growing right now - that worries me. I want her HEAD DOWN for a nice, vaginal delivery *crossing fingers*(yes, yes, I said vaginal - get used to it). If I need a c-section, I need a c-section but I am not one of those mommies who wishes for one from the very beginning. My body was built in the way it is in order to physically deliver my baby into this world. Its what it was made for. I am not afraid of it or shying away from it. I have never been the one to take the supposed "easy" way out (which is how a lot of mommies I know refer to a c-section, if you can believe that major surgery is the easy way out).

Last night in class, while I was doing my best not to get distracted by the baby's movements, our instructor went over the Transitional period of labor - the hardest part of active labor when you are 7cm to 10cm dilated and getting ready to start pushing. We watched two births on video. Dated videos but - hello - goes to show you that women have been doing this for thousands of years and there are certain parts that are just not dated. LOL. They happen every day, to this day - current hairstyles or decor or not.

She also went over epidurals, spinals, medication, what to pack in your suitcases, what to leave at home. She talks seriously to the coaches (not just daddies or husbands as there is a Lesbian couple in our class - which was a first and eye opener to me) about what they can expect from us and answers everyone's questions as clearly and down to earth as she can. I can tell you for sure that my husband is getting a lot out of these classes. The mommies prepare for labor and childbirth in different ways. The ways daddies get prepared for this event is by taking these classes. I have yet to meet a man that isn't 100% more comfortable about something once he is well informed about it. My hubby asks more questions than I do in these classes - which really warms my heart because I can see how focused and interested he is in being a good support for me. I know he is nervous about seeing me in pain and not knowing what to do so the step-by-step knowledge he is getting from this class is really invaluable. And a HUGE relief to me. I have a big, stressful role in this whole thing and its nice to know that he will be there as my back up, remembering our breathing lessons, and helping me along.

Its weird sitting here and writing all of this down. Up until this point my life has been all about the pregnancy. Growing the baby. Preparing for the baby. Now, with these classes, its about the next step - getting her here. And I am her ticket. LOL. Its my job (and my husband's) to make sure she arrives safely and healthy. I think I am just getting that.

I am 32 weeks and 4 days pregnant today. That means I have just over 7 and a half weeks until I am 40 weeks and this baby is due. Stay tuned because I am sure that between now and then there will be other blogs about the pregnancy. It ain't over until its over - but the end is fast approaching!

Studio-by-Carmen ROCKS MY SOCKS!

2007-08-09T13:59:00.000-04:00

I bit the bullet and dragged the hubby to a maternity photo shoot this weekend. As most of you who are men or married to men can imagine - that was no easy feat. He was so not into the idea of it. Even I was not so sure about it (but for different reasons - mainly I was not sure if I was pretty enough to be photographed at the moment) but I figured I might as well give it a try or I would probably regret it.

I am SO glad I did. I had the best time. It was sweltering hot out but Carmen, the photog, made sure that hubby and I had an awesome time. And in the process she captured us perfectly. Can you tell that we are excited about becoming parents?

Here is her preview of our little photog session....

http://studiobycarmen.blogspot.com/2007/08/soon-to-be-parents-mel-and-abel.html

I don't wanna work....

2007-08-09T09:10:00.001-04:00

....I just wanna bang on my drum all day.

CAN WE SAY SWAMPED AND GOING CRAZY?!

The writing on the wall tells it all! The last 8 weeks of my pregnancy are not going to be relaxing here at work. As usually, it is feast or famine around here.

#1 - My boss is freaking out because we are getting inundated with work - and she keeps picturing her life without me around to help her. While its nice to be needed and appreciated, I really do have bigger things to worry about - like the human I am growing and about to give birth to and all of the new challenges she will bring.

#2 - Our new *big* boss keeps adding to our clientele list - as if we were not busy to begin with. So, we get more and more Agreements each day and not to mention emails and signals that more are coming.

#3 - We are about to start interviewing for the temp who will help my boss while I am out. Ideally, they will start about 2 weeks before I leave in October and stay until 2 weeks after I return in January.

Meanwhile, I want to stay home - pull the covers over my head and not come out until the baby is born. Can I do that please?

THANK GOODNESS THE WEEKEND IS ALMOST HERE!!!!!!

And only 8 more weekends to go until I am home for 12 weeks straight caring for a newborn. Hmm. Let me weigh all of this. When the time finally comes, will I be happy to be home or screaming to come back? Just one more item to add to my "only time will tell" list...

Umm, can I have my feet back?!

2007-08-08T11:42:00.000-04:00

Of all the changes pregnancy brings - who would have thought that I would mourn the loss of my feet the most? Oh, I still have feet - they have not disappeared or anything. They are just FAT. Fat ankles, fat toes, swollen tops... I mean, seriously, I HAVE CANKLES!

Nature is a cruel, cruel bitch. She takes away my waistline. She gives me monstrously huge boobs. She adds on 30+ pounds to my already voluptuous figure. I cannot go shopping for my usual chic array of shirts, skirts, pants, etc...

Couldn't she have left me my feet? My normal width size 8 feet? Did she have to take away my joy of shoe shopping, too? It seems so unnecessary and cruel. I cannot sleep on my belly. I cannot enjoy hot baths. Margaritas are OUT. And so is SHOE SHOPPING? What the hell? There is something seriously wrong with this picture.

More than anything, once I have popped this baby out (and oh if it could be that easy) I am looking forward to seeing my feet again. I know that my waist and tummy will take a little while to deflate. I know that the weight I have gained will take a while to come off. But from what I hear - I can expect my feet back within a week. And for that I cannot wait!

Is that what pregnancy is for? Am I supposed to start appreciating all of those little things that will change once the baby arrives? If so, nature is not only cruel - she is a smart one. Very clever! I hope I remember all of these little lessons...

300 Abs....I mean, Spartans!

2007-08-03T14:40:00.000-04:00

Who says action/adventure movies are only for men? 300 was released on DVD this week.

This is one movie on which my girlfriends and guy friends all can agree. It is a feast for every sense! Whether you are in the mood to follow the great storyline, breathless fight scenes and/or the well developed plot.

Or... if sometimes, like me, you are in a more visual mood and would rather keep the TV on mute. Either way, all you need is a glass of wine and a big smile.

ENJOY!

What if you had 16 siblings?

2007-08-03T11:20:00.000-04:00

I only had one growing up and sometimes that was a little too much. Well, latest news on Yahoo! is the birth of the Duggar Family's 17th child. A little girl. The oldest child is 19. You may have seen this family featured on the Discovery Channel (I haven't seen the show).

Lets hit the first hurdle - what they consider "fun" facts. Just a few, I am sure there are others.

1. A baby has been born in every month except June
2. The family has gone through an estimated 90,000 diapers
3. The mom, Michelle, has been pregnant for 126 months (approx 10.5 years of her life)

Can I get a moment of silence, please? These people deserve a HUGE amount of respect (or therapy and a mental evaluation). Especially since they are saying, even after the birth of their latest, that they would love more children. Apparently, with only 7 girls - they are out numbered. Can't let that happen.

The idea of my husband and I being parents and caregivers and the financial support to seventeen kids boggles my mind. I think it would boggle almost anyone's. But really - when I thought of it - think about living with 16 brothers and sisters. Of being one of 17 children who all need love, care, and attention. Of needing help with your homework, dating advice, fashion advice, a lesson in bike riding. Who is providing all of that? My guess is that it is the older siblings and not the parents.

I don't know. I am not trying to be judgemental - I think large families and children are a beautiful thing. But I also think that it can all be taken just a little too far....

Everything happens for a reason

2007-08-02T12:49:00.000-04:00

I am obviously in a contemplative mood today...

Everything Happens for a Reason

Sometimes things fall apart just so

other things can fall together;

but in the end, what is meant to be,

will always find its way.

It is true that we don't know

what we've got until we lose it, but it is also

true that we don't know what we've

been missing until it arrives.

Giving in to Domesticity.......

2007-08-02T10:24:00.000-04:00

We spend our lives fighting it really - as if it is a bad thing to become domesticated. As teenagers we want to spread our wings and escape, in college - once we have escaped - we live wild and free, and then a funny thing happens to most people: You start searching for it. The circle is pretty interesting. As modern and independent as we act and as hard as we work at climbing that corporate ladder - few of us are really happy unless we find love and settle down into a stable lifestyle. By stable I do not mean boring. I am not talking doilies and bunt cakes. I am talking emotional and financial stability. We no longer want to run wild and live paycheck to paycheck. We have savings plans and 401Ks and life insurance policies. As wild as it isn't - its wild how much we change in such a relatively short period of time. Never say never because you really never know.

It hits me every once in a while as I waddle behind my baby bump through the walls of my office and home that I have no idea how I got here. Just yesterday I was in high school, hanging out in the quad, preparing for an exam, wondering about college. My bedroom was a mess. My car had no air conditioning. I was happy making $150 a paycheck as a Sales Clerk at the local mall. Life was simple. Marriage and a career and kids were SO far in the future that I thought I had plenty of time to figure it all out and I actually thought that by the time kids were on the horizon that I would have figured it all out. That was the part of what becoming an adult meant. You KNEW more. You KNEW everything. Right?

Now I know that part of what becoming an adult is that you never know more. That is the big secret. Yeah, sure, you learn life's lessons as you go - but you never know everything. Life is a lot like high school, even though no one ever tells you that. You keep learning lessons and you have to keep applying them. You pass some, you fail some. Nothing and no one is fool proof but if you are lucky you can limit the foolish decisions that you make. You can make more right decisions than wrong. And you can cut yourself some slack for the wrong decisions you do make.

And domesticity is not bad! Wow! Who knew? I had two big domestic milestones hit me over the head this week. One, was the hiring of my very first cleaning lady. And second, is today's arrival of a new washer and dryer - front load. The reason they are milestones that made me ponder domesticity and all its wonder is that I am just as excited about these big changes as I was about my last big vacation or when I purchased my sporty little car. I got the same high I used to get after downing a shot of tequila in a noisy, smoky club, surrounded by my loud, scantily dressed girlfriends. Seriously?! How is that even possible?

And I wonder again...how did I get here? I have no idea. But I am glad I did. And I really hope that while I will have a supportive husband, a bouncing baby, and a swanky new washer and dryer at home - that it all does not equate to an end of the loud tequila shots and sexy vacations. I don't believe that giving in to domesticity means giving up on the little experiences that brought me here - but I promise to let you know. Or maybe not.

Maternity and Plus Size are NOT the same, Target....

2007-07-30T08:52:00.000-04:00

As someone who has yo-yo'd in weight for years and years and is now pregnant and basically giving in to the weight gain I have fought so long - it is so frustrating to me that Target mixes their maternity and plus size women's departments. They are NOT the same. And when I say that they "mix it" I do not mean that they have them right next to each other. That would be fine. But now, they are MIXED. The clearance items are all on the same rack, the racks are interchangeable. It is ridiculous. My shopping experience on Friday night was terrible. Plus sized women's clothes do not fit the same as Maternity Clothes. They just don't. And it is a waste of a shopper's time to have to shift through one to search for the other when they really should not be on the same rack anyway.

This is nothing against women who shop in the plus size department. On the contrary, how annoying must it be for those women who will be shopping in the plus size department a lot longer than I will be pregnant and shopping in the maternity department. How depressing. Want me to explain how I understand just how depressing this can be? I went shopping in a Maternity Store at a local Miami mall. This store carried affordable yet trendy maternity clothes. The tops were great. They fit perfect. The bottoms, however, were another story. This store catered to a large South American clientele. Now, if anyone knows the difference between South American shaped women and Caribbean shaped women it is that the former have tiny hips and tushes and the latter usually have an abundance of curves in the lower areas. Yes, class, I am in the latter category. Shopping in this store was a test of self confidence. As if it was not bad enough that I was surrounded by skinny pregnant women who looked like they had all swallowed basketballs while I looked like I swallowed a basketball court - I had to deal with the fact that I was shopping in the 5-7-9 of the pregnancy world of pants. Ugh.

I think stores forget sometimes that they are there to make the experience as pleasurable as possible for customers. The goal is to keep customers coming back for more. I am pretty sure that Target is not accomplishing this. And seriously, all joking aside, I really expect more from them!

Buzz Kill

2007-07-29T15:22:00.000-04:00

There is nothing more depressing and frustrating than having a nice little happy bubble that you have been carrying around get obliterated in a matter of seconds. I am a really cheerful, up beat, happy go lucky kind of girl. I really am. Ask anyone. So, when I am looking forward to an event or an occasion or anything of the kind I really look forward to it. Especially when it is something that is close to being a milestone - maybe one that people do not agree with or even get - but still its my milestone. I really don't expect everyone to agree or "get" it. What I do expect is that my idea of a milestone be respected.

I don't know - maybe because I am so happy go lucky and up beat for everyone else I expect the same in return. I really, truly understand that everyone is different. That there are so many different types of people in this world and that it is because of this that there are so many different ways to bring pleasure to the billions of people world wide. Seriously, if the same thing brought everyone pleasure this world would be an incredibly dull place. At least that is the way I look at it.

Why then is it so easy for one thoughtless word or phrase or action. Or a series such to ruin in minutes something that I can say I was looking forward to for more than weeks, more than months even. Buzz kills suck. Especially when they come from people you love and respect and expect more from - especially when you feel you give so much to them that you expect a smidgen of understanding. Just a speck. Buzz kill moments are those that if you could go back just thirty seconds - such a tiny amount of time - you know that you could fix it all. It could be as simple as the person never saying what it was that killed the moment or, when you call it to their attention, it could be more than an apology that makes them feel better. They could actually say something in a way that lets you know for sure that they are sorry and that they meant it. Apologies - really, people - we have got to work on them. "I am sorry" just does not cut it sometimes. Its the way you say it, its your body language, its possibly even holding the person whose feelings you hurt - whether it is in a hug or just their hand. It is not how well you can change the subject afterwards to something bigger and better and completely different. Buying time afterwards does not make the original hurt go away. Neither does, "I said I was sorry. What more do you want?"

I know that I while some of you are curious that I do not have to go into great detail about my buzz kill. I know for sure that even without giving any details at all that most of you have been where I am sitting at this particular moment and that most of you have also put someone you cared about where I am sitting at the very same moment. And I know you do it without meaning to and that you are sorry. But guess what? The job is done. The buzz is killed.

What to do now? The milestone occasion is coming now whether you are psyched for it still or not. How do you pull yourself out of the funk you now find yourself in? I have no idea but I do not know I have an hour and a half to figure it out. My hope is that venting in this blog in the complete and total hypothetical will be cleansing. Maybe once I hit save and publish this I will feel much better. Not completely - but somewhat. Enough to smile pretty and be my usual upbeat self. And maybe the person/people who made me feel this way will realize it all on their own without me having to say one more word - which they do not want to hear anyway (because seriously wouldn't the world be a great place if problems got fixed on their own?).

Maybe. But I doubt it. I sincerely doubt the weather report is calling for flurries in hell today.

What about your friends.....?

2007-07-27T12:24:00.001-04:00

Remember that old TLC song? I used to love it and play it over and over again on my little tape deck when I was in middle school (yes, I was in middle school when TLC first came on the scene - do the math). Right now I am feeling all sentimental about my friends and family and this particular blog is dedicated to each and every one of them. I am really lucky to be surrounded by such a supportive group of women and men. I have them nearby, an hour away, on each coast, and everywhere in between - and it never matters. If I need them, I can count on them. Simple as that.

I always hear about married women who lose touch with their single friends or vice versa when those huge life changes come and get in the way. Change happens. People grow apart. People get busy. People start families. But the most important friends are those who you can spend months or weeks in between any and all communication but who always leave you with the feeling, no matter how long its been since conversations, that you just spoke to them yesterday. That is SO special. And that is really imporant - because not every friend is the one you can speak to each day via telephone or email. I think it is important to remember that and not judge and not feel hurt because when you get to the point when you judge a friend for supposedly not keeping in touch (when they are probably just as busy as you are) that rifts happen and the friendship is lost. Then years later you wonder why and how it happened. That is a shame. It has happened to me - but I am determined now to hold on tight to all of the friends I have now because each of them is an individual treasure to me. I have something different that I can count on and take away from each of them and I hope that they can all say the same of me.

So - this one is going out to all of my friends and family. Because I love each and every one of them from the tops of their pretty heads to the tips of their big toes.

All together now.... What about your friends?

Every now and then I get a little crazy
That's not the way it's supposed to be
Sometimes my vision is a little hazy
I can't tell who I should trust or just who I let trust me (yeah)
People try to say I act a little funny
But that's just a figure of speech to me
They tell me I changed because I got money
But if you were there before then you're still down with me

Chorus:
What about your friends will they stand their ground
Will they let you down again
What about your friends are they gonna be low down
Will they ever be around or will they turn their backs on you
Well is it me or can it be I'm a little too

Friendly so to speak hypothetically
Say I supply creativity to what others
Must take as a form of self-hate
Only to make an enemy
Which results in unfortunate destiny
They dog me out then be next to me
Just cause I am what some choose to envy
Every now and then I get a little easy
I let a lot of people depend on me
I never though they would ever deceive me
Don't you know when times got rough I was standing on my own
I'll never let another get that close to me
You see I've grown a lot smarter now
Sometimes you have to choose and then you'll see
If your friend is true they'll be there with you
Through the thick and thin

Chorus

Yo is it me, is it me or can it be I am a little too friendly
So to speak hypothetically
Say supply creativity to what others
Must take as a form of self-hate
Only to make an enemy
Which results in unfortunate destiny
They dog me out then be next to me
Just cause I am what some choose to envy

Chorus

People say I act a little funny
I wouldn't change not for no money
I'll be a friend as long as you're a friend to me (yeah, yeah)
Even though I might seem easy
It don't give you no cause to deceive me
It's not the way that I want my friends to ever be

Chorus

Torture is...

2007-07-23T09:08:00.001-04:00

Leaving off on page 430 of the latest and final Harry Potter in order to go to sleep because you have to wake up early the next morning.

Obsession is...

Waking up when your alarm goes off and before pressing snooze you catch a glimpse of the big, fat book sitting on your nightstand and seriously consider coming up with some sort of ailment so that you can stay home from work and finish it in peace without fear of spoilers.

Paranoia is...

Avoiding spoilers. How? By avoiding any new and strange websites. Not opening any book review links. Making sure no one else is in the elevator when you get on - just in case someone is talking about it. Spending the whole day in your cubicle, head down, ignoring all conversations that float by and watching the clock until 5pm when you can run to your car, race home, order a pizza, and sit down to finish the book in peace - phone ringer off, TV unplugged.

Insanity is...

ALL OF THE ABOVE. And making sure you, yes you gentle reader, cannot spoil or judge me by removing the option for you to post ANY comments on this particular post. I just cannot risk it...

Pregnancy has its ups...and its downs.

2007-07-20T08:56:00.000-04:00

I always like the bad news first - so lets start with a down. I do not have too many. I am having a really good pregnancy. It is hard to complain about my little problems when I have had friends who have suffered much worse. I really do not want to jinx myself. The heat of a Florida summer is really my main enemy. However, that is not the down I am here to talk about...

THE DOWNSIDE...

Let me be honest and admit that I was prone to cramps in my calves before getting pregnant. But I would probably get them....oh....once every 6, or even 10, months. This has recently changed with a vengeance. In the last few weeks I get one every other week like clockwork. And my legs take turns. One week its my left, the next my right. Never the same leg twice in a row. Weird, huh? At least they are polite to each other like that. Don't want to annoy the pain gods do we, girls?

Last night took the cake and is the reason for this blog. Or rather, I should say this morning. 5am - I woke up after feeling a cramp coming on in my left calf and started trying to work it out with my hands before it got too bad. My whimpering must have woke hubby up because he moved me out of the way and got to work on it. It was a slight one and went away fast and we went back to sleep. Thankfully. My hubby is not an easy one to fall back asleep after having been woken up and I felt guilty.

BAM! 6am - the right leg got a BAD one. Hubby, the love that he is, went right to work on it. This was a bigger one and took longer and more pressure to work out. These suckers wake me out of a dead sleep. I feel like such a baby whimpering about it but the pain added to the fact that I am half asleep just takes over me. I cannot seem to help myself and honestly - the whimpering helps in a wierd way to release it all.

(SIDE NOTE - All you women out there, this is one of those very good reasons to have babies with men who you can count on to help you out and be there for you. The downsides of pregnancy are so much better coped with when you have someone by your side who is just there for you - no matter what).

Anyway, to end my story, two cramps in one hour. That was new - and I hope not a trend!

THE UPSIDE...

I am going to leave you with an upside. I have to. There is now way that I am going to end this particular blog on a note of pain and negativity. Its not my style.

Most people LOVE pregnant women. Did you know that? This is a fact that I have learned recently and that this morning was made very apparent to me in neon colors. Its a silly thing but one of my pregnancy cravings is a muffin for breakfast. Lemon Poppy Seed and Blueberry muffins are my favorite and I can get them every morning in the cafe at my place of work. Much to my chagrin, the past two mornings have found the cafe barren of my two favorite muffins leaving only BRAN. Ick. That is no fun. And I am not the only one who thinks so because really - there is always at least a half a dozen Bran muffins left once all the others have sold out. What is the point, people?

Anyway, this morning I decided to ask to see if there was any Blueberry muffins in the kitchen. See? That is how bad my need for a fix was. Well, there wasn't. But the lady I asked was so sweet that she went all the way to the other shop to get my a blueberry muffin that she knew was there - even though that shop does not open until 9am. How awesome was that of her? She is my angel for the day. I was able to enjoy a fabulous blueberry muffin for breakfast this morning all because of her! I definitely owe her one.

So, not only is today's upside the fact that people love pregnant women (well, most anyway) but that my morning can do a quick 180 turn in just a few hours.

Life is GOOD, people... Make sure you go out and appreciate all the small pleasures and try not to focus on the little negative things.

That is your homework for today, class. Now go out and conquer!