Thursday, August 2, 2007

Giving in to Domesticity.......

We spend our lives fighting it really - as if it is a bad thing to become domesticated. As teenagers we want to spread our wings and escape, in college - once we have escaped - we live wild and free, and then a funny thing happens to most people: You start searching for it. The circle is pretty interesting. As modern and independent as we act and as hard as we work at climbing that corporate ladder - few of us are really happy unless we find love and settle down into a stable lifestyle. By stable I do not mean boring. I am not talking doilies and bunt cakes. I am talking emotional and financial stability. We no longer want to run wild and live paycheck to paycheck. We have savings plans and 401Ks and life insurance policies. As wild as it isn't - its wild how much we change in such a relatively short period of time. Never say never because you really never know.

It hits me every once in a while as I waddle behind my baby bump through the walls of my office and home that I have no idea how I got here. Just yesterday I was in high school, hanging out in the quad, preparing for an exam, wondering about college. My bedroom was a mess. My car had no air conditioning. I was happy making $150 a paycheck as a Sales Clerk at the local mall. Life was simple. Marriage and a career and kids were SO far in the future that I thought I had plenty of time to figure it all out and I actually thought that by the time kids were on the horizon that I would have figured it all out. That was the part of what becoming an adult meant. You KNEW more. You KNEW everything. Right?

Now I know that part of what becoming an adult is that you never know more. That is the big secret. Yeah, sure, you learn life's lessons as you go - but you never know everything. Life is a lot like high school, even though no one ever tells you that. You keep learning lessons and you have to keep applying them. You pass some, you fail some. Nothing and no one is fool proof but if you are lucky you can limit the foolish decisions that you make. You can make more right decisions than wrong. And you can cut yourself some slack for the wrong decisions you do make.

And domesticity is not bad! Wow! Who knew? I had two big domestic milestones hit me over the head this week. One, was the hiring of my very first cleaning lady. And second, is today's arrival of a new washer and dryer - front load. The reason they are milestones that made me ponder domesticity and all its wonder is that I am just as excited about these big changes as I was about my last big vacation or when I purchased my sporty little car. I got the same high I used to get after downing a shot of tequila in a noisy, smoky club, surrounded by my loud, scantily dressed girlfriends. Seriously?! How is that even possible?

And I wonder did I get here? I have no idea. But I am glad I did. And I really hope that while I will have a supportive husband, a bouncing baby, and a swanky new washer and dryer at home - that it all does not equate to an end of the loud tequila shots and sexy vacations. I don't believe that giving in to domesticity means giving up on the little experiences that brought me here - but I promise to let you know. Or maybe not.


Christy aka TRUE - GEMINI said...

oh my gosh...thanks for that post. Although I'm nowhere near your current lifestyle, I understand, and I want something like that too. Its so hard to explain to my boyfriend that being stable does not equal being bored forever. I hope he comes around. In fact, breakthrough this morning: he's back on the house-hunting kick! YESSS! Thanks chica! I'm still trying to get down to Fl soon...but maybe after Hurricane season (aug). When are you due?

Alison said...

Awesomeness, Mel. True too. I'm so happy about your happiness. XXOO