Monday, October 15, 2007

Life as we all know it...

I guess it is no surprise that I have not been able to post a blog in a few weeks. Life as we knew it is now completely different in a million good ways and quite a few that really required some adjustment to but even those are manageable because of Sophia. Its amazing really - the lack of sleep. The lack of...anything...of life as we knew it. I am getting on average 5 hours of sleep a night. I am basically holed up in my home because the baby is too young to really go anywhere and the car is really a little cramped with the car seat (4 door sedan is on order, hello family mobile!). However, even in the midst of all that - I am incredibly happy and no, not in a delirious, sleep deprived way. I find myself wondering how it is possible to smile or laugh at 3am while changing a poopy diaper - but I do. Its impossible not to. Our little Pookie makes the cutest sounds at all hours of the day, especially when she is working on finishing up a poopy diaper when I am smack in the middle of changing her. We swear she waits for her last diaper to be off and her butt to be bare be for she locks and loads and fires. She has gotten us each quite a few times. It has become a joke between my husband and I.

I woke up the other night to hear my husband give a shout from his side of the bed. "Aw, man - she got me!" he was telling me as he was laughing and struggling with our squirming infant. You know your life has changed drastically when projectile pee and poop landing on your shirt and shorts is cause for startled laughter instead of indignant annoyance. Its the love, I tell you. There is now this innocent little person who we really cannot get enough of - middle of the night feedings, flying poop, temper tantrums, and all.

It is not all poop either. I have found new love for those around me because of the love I see they have for my daughter. Its an amazing thing to see my parents as grandparents. My two strongest role models are now walking, talking mounds of mush over this little bitty person who can barely hold her head up. She is way too small to wield so much power over people - yet she does. At the moment, she is the boss of all of us. People are planning their whole weekends around when they get to see her and hold her and...just look at her. It really seems as if there is nothing that can bond an already bonded family like a new baby.

If you had asked me before Sophia was born if I could love my husband any more than I did...I would have said probably, yes. There are things he does all the time that a) make me realize how much I love him and b) make me burst with love for him. But seeing him as a father. Seeing how over the moon he is over our daughter. It has, without a doubt, made me fall in love with him again - in a whole new way. Sappy? Absolutely! And I love it.

So, yes, life as we know it has changed completely and I am not complaining. What I am is curious. Seriously. If she has changed and warped our lives so completely in just 3 weeks...what will my life be like in 3 months? It is like she can wave her tiny hand and will us to to appreciate the things that we did not realize needed, or warranted, any appreciation. The best way to describe it is to tell you that I am on the first baby loop of a monster roller coaster where the cart is traveling in slow motion - and for once in my life I am not willing to, nor wanting to, speed it up. I am in the moment and enjoying every tiny nano-second.