Monday, July 16, 2007

The BEST feeling.....

Just stopping in to jot down a quick thought before I forget.

I need this blog in order to remember exactly how wonderful it feels when a baby one is carrying kicks and moves. I have talked to some mommies who tell me that I am going to get tired of it and annoyed after a while. Well, I am entering my 7th month and that has not happened yet. Yes, I get distracted by it (especially when in meetings at work) but every kick and movement makes me smile and press my hand to the spot. Almost as if her little hand is on the inside pressing against mine. Those moments always get me. She kicks me, I press my hand to the spot she kicked or nudged and...I can almost imagine that she knows and is aware of how she is making me feel.

Realistically, I know that she is just doing her thing - making herself more comfortable in a very tight spot that will only get tighter as the weeks progress. But I also like the idea that she is communicating with me. Because that is what every kick or nudge or roll feels like. Almost as if she is saying, "Hi Mom! I am still here with you..." It is an amazing feeling. I know my hubby gets a kick out of touching my tummy and feeling those movements. Feeling her move gets him involved in this pregnancy in a way that he was not before she started moving. I have to admit, though, that sometimes I feel guilty and selfish because as cool as the movements feel from the outside in those brief moments that he has his hand on my belly - they are minute compared to how it feels to be aware of her and her movements all day long. Now I know what all of those doctors and specialists say when they talk about bonding and maternal instincts starting so early.

Maybe my horomones are starting to act up. Maybe I am just ultra sensitive. But the closer I get to my due date and the more I feel her, the more I love her and want her here with me. Don't get me wrong - I am enjoying every nano second of this pregnancy but... Well, the only way I can think to explain it is that its like going to the movies. My favorite part has always been the ten minutes of previews before the main events. Its in my make up, part of my personality, because I am always looking forward to the next big thing. Sometimes I enjoy the previews of upcoming movies so much that I forget what movie I am sitting there waiting to see. I am trying not to let that happen with my pregnancy - I am enjoying the moment but I would be lying if I did not tell you that a glowing feeling of anticipation comes over me when I think of finally holding my baby girl in my arms and meeting face to face the little being who has been talking to me through movements all of these months.


Christy aka TRUE - GEMINI said...

aww... I wanna have a baby too. I want to feel all that. :)
Love your blog.