Disappointment

Disappointment is having everything in place to move back to your hometown (the new job, house on the market, details all set up, etc... ) only to come to the hard-as-hell conclusion that due to the situation in the housing market right now that you just cannot do it.

The market has screwed us over bigtime on this one. It may be the time to buy for a lot of people - but its not the time to sell unless you are willing to take a BIG hit. And we aren't.

This realization came to me amid a river of tears and a broken heart. I realized, too, that I am spoiled. I am very used to things working out the way I need them to. Even when life has closed some doors for me - new ones have opened almost immediately. So, to not see any quick resolution to this issue other than patience is hard for me.

The one good thing is that I am pretty adaptable. I am slowly getting used to the idea. I do not like dwelling and complaining about what I cannot control and I refuse to. I am so adaptable to new situations and changes that my husband looked at me last night and actually said that I looked relieved. No. I am not relieved. If we could win the lottery tomorrow and be able to afford a downpayment on our dreamhouse I would jump at the opportunity to move in a heartbeat. What I am is realistic. What I refuse to do is dwell. If the situation has to be a certain way, even if it is not my #1 or even #3 choice - then so be it. Complaining and crying and dwelling is not going to help me do anything by stay depressed and sad. I have a lot more to live for than that and that is what I am going to do.

And even though it still sucks - its not over. The plan is still to move. It just may be closer to two years from now than two months from now.