Monday, January 14, 2008

Officially a "Working Mom"

My day this morning started at 6:30am with the first of many little heartbreaks - waking up my little sleeper an hour and a half before she would have woken up at home. Yes, I realize its necessary to get my child up and fed so that we arrive at daycare happy - but it still hurts me to do so. I can only hope that she can tell the difference between weekends and weekdays and does not start waking us up at 6:30am on Saturday mornings.

I was actually fine all morning - I was starting to think that I would make it to work without crying one bit. Sophie had a smooth car ride to daycare - we sang along to Shakira and she sang to her little stuffed Monkey (yes, it is as adorable as it sounds to hear my 3 month old chatter away to her toys). We arrived at daycare without a fuss, I settled her in, spoke with the caregivers to give them an update on her and left to head to the office.

And then the crying started. Okay, let me be blunt - sobbing. I SOBBED. I called my husband (and then MY mommy) and sobbed like my heart was breaking and could really not pinpoint the exact reason why but it literally felt like my heart was breaking into tiny little pieces. I knew she was going to be fine; she is a good baby, a social baby. I knew that her caregiver was lucky to have such a good baby to care for and that, in turn, Sophie was going to be well cared for. But at the same time - I want to be the one with her all day, making her smile, feeding her, changing her diaper. I finally calmed down. I got to work and started counting down the hours until lunch time when I could go and visit her.

Best part of my day? Walking into that infant room to find my baby in a bouncer and to see the smile on my baby's face when she focused and saw that it was HER MAMA there to see her. We spent a half hour together cuddling and smiling at each other and I swear it was heaven on earth. There is nothing that comes close to the feeling of your child recognizing you and being thrilled to see you. Lunch was over all too soon.

Second best part of my day? Right now - it is 30 minutes until quitting time which means I get to go snatch my baby up and take her home with me.


TiVo Queen said...

Do you feel like you have new insight into YOUR mama and how she must feel about you? :)